Understand the horror I felt during Mr. Link's third period Civics class. A police car crept up Cemetery Street. "Who can tell me who would assume the presidency, if both President Reagan and Vice President Bush were (A) incapacitated,(B) killed , or ( C )any combination of the above mentioned?"
Normally, the titters of my classmates would have given away what was about to happen. Mr. Link was famous for launching erasers at anyone who didn't pay attention to his monologues. He was deadly accurate - his nickname was the never missing link. The police car held my attention as it slowed to a crawl in front of the school. I was kneeling on my seat when I felt the sting of the eraser on my shoulder. I turned in time to inhale a plume of chalk dust.
"Mr. Morrison, would you care to answer the question for the class?
"Donald Trump," I coughed, gagging on the chalk dust. My classmates erupted with laughter. I couldn't help but look out the window again. The police car had stopped in the middle of the street.
"Silence!" Mr. Link decreed with an evil stare and raised hand. My classmates capitulated. "Mr. Morrison look here!" Like my classmates, I complied. "What's so fascinating?" the teacher sighed.
I blurted: "Big Dick Bradigan!" before turning my attention back to the street. My fellow window dwellers rose from their seats, curious to see what was a Big Dick Bradigan.
"See here," Mr. Link commanded, snapping his fingers.
Across the room a classmate shouted, "Silly Faggot, Dicks are for Chicks." More laughter. Mr. Link was slow to squelch the coup, his attention held by my spontaneous case of Attention Deficit Disorder. My classmates used the occasion to launch paper bombshells at the classroom dictator. Not as accurate as their suppresser's, the missiles missed their target.
"SILENCE!" Mr. Link bellowed retreating to the blackboard. "Who wants to try me?" He challenged holding up an eraser. "Everyone, take your seat! We will have none of this nonsense! Do we understand?" His voiced boomed. After a moment of uneasy silence, he barked: "Very good." Turning his attention to me, Mr. Link continued, "You can tell Mr. Hillman what is fascinating about a Big Dick - Bradigan." My classmates sniggered. He banished me to the principle's office. As I gathered my books, I noticed the police car had moved on.
I was condemned to the horrors of detention - with Mr. Link! After making sure I understood the Speaker of the House of Representatives was the correct answer and his name was Tip O'Neil, D-Mass, and not Donald Trump, Real Estate magnate- NY, he disappeared into the hallway. I overheard him making time with an unseen lady teacher. Curiosity got the better of me and I slunk across the room straining to identify her voice. Good luck pal, I smiled recognizing Ms. Horne. Shannie would have a better chance than you, I laughed as I returned to my seat.