"What are friends for?" Steve Lucas slapped my back. "Look at it this way. The bun's in her oven. She's the one with the problem. I wouldn't worry."
I stared at Steve. "You really don't get it," I said.
"What's the worst that can happen? She has the kid - you're a daddy. You wouldn't be the first to ride that ride."
"How many fingers am I holding up?" I questioned. We stood on the sidewalk in front of the funeral parlor.
"Two," Steve answered. "Why?"
"I want to know if you're as stupid as you sound."
"Listen." Steve placed an arm around my shoulder. "She's not going to have the kid. She's going to get an abortion. She'll hit you up for three - four hundred bucks. Take it to the bank." Steve wore a stupid smile. "Hey, I made a funny. Get it? Cover the Costs; take it to the bank."
"You're a regular George Carlin." I rolled my eyes. "Tell me Kreshkin, how the fuck do you figure she'll get an abortion?"
"Ain't it obvious? And you call me stupid. You my friend need to extract your head from your ass."
"Enlighten me," I said.
"If Jenny Slut's parents found out, they'd kill her - away goes your problem. Right? Wrong! 'Cause when her old man finishes with her, he'll track you down and slaughter you like the pig you are. You're not Jenny Slut's problem, self-preservation is. She has to get rid of your little nightmare. There is no way in hell she'll keep it."
"How do you know?" I asked.
"I have it on good sources," Steve said.
I looked at Steve blankly.
"How many fingers am I holding up?" Steve questioned.
"One," I answered. "Why?"
"I'm just seeing if you're as stupid as you look," the future undertaker mocked. "Marcy told me you asshole. Cough up three hundred bucks and you're out of Jenny Slut Jail."
"How does Marcy know? And where the fuck can I get three hundred bucks?"
"Jenny Slut cried on her shoulder. I'm telling you lover boy, the bargain keeps getting better for you."
"Shit," I mumbled. "If Marcy knows, Shannie knows. And if Shannie knows, I'm…"
"You're what?" Steve interrupted.
"I'm screwed. I'll lose her for sure."
"Like you ever had her," Steve said. "Don't go looking for the cloud on a sunny day. Cleaning up this mess is more important than what little Ms Ortolan thinks."