"Hi Count," she replied.
The helper opened the fridge and waited for food to jump out at him.
"Damn it boy. Pick you poison or shut the door. Don't you roll your eyes at me!" Flossy barked. The helper was the Lightman's son. Shannie called him Count. It was the price he paid for living on a Cemetery.
I watched in awe as he took a long swig from the carton of Orange Juice. I never would have done that in front of my folks. The kid had balls.
"I oughta beat you with a stick," Flossy said.
Count turned to his mother and belched.
"Boy, stop acting like you were raised by a pack of wolves."
"Yes Ma'am," Count smirked.
"Wipe that smirk off your face. I don't care how big you are. I'll dig you a hole and shove you in." Count winked at Shannie before retreating into his room. Too cool, I thought.
That evening I asked Shannie: "Where do babies come from?" We were in her back yard. "You don't know?" she laughed.
"A woman's body," I said red-faced.
"No shit Sherlock."
"Forget it."
"No way, you brought it up."
"Shut up, just drop it."
"Why you blushing Just James?"
"Am not."
"Are to"
"Am not"
"Jesus, are you always so uptight."
"I'm not uptight."
"Are to."
"Just drop it! Okay."
I thought she dropped it. Then she asked. "Who you planning on getting pregnant?"
"What do you mean?"
"Oh Brother. Are you really that naïve?"
My heart snapped. I think she heard it because she grabbed my hand and turned me towards her. "Sorry Just James. Didn't mean to hurt your feelings. But you're so Catholic. I thought everybody knew how to put a bun in the oven."
"My mom says it from by taking a pill."
"I knew I should have put Exlax in that Pie. She is so full of shit," Shannie howled.
"What do you mean?"
Shannie reached out and felt my forehead. "Wanted to check if you are feverish." She stared at my crimson face. "Let me get this straight, you asked your mother where babies come from and she told you from taking a pill. You are twelve years old, right?"
"Yeah," I mumbled.
"Does she have you believing in the Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny."