"You wouldn't do that now, would you?" the nurse asked.
"Of course I won't do it now. But when there's cornflakes I will." For the life of me I couldn't remember the name of the meal served in the morning.
"Hey Jimmy," a wise ass patient called. "You going help us set up the party tomorrow?" Everyone laughed.
The next morning, Halloween morning, as we gathered for the morning meal, my memory didn't leave me down. I snuck behind the wise ass and as he was about to enjoy his cereal, I unleashed myself into his bowl.
"JESUS H CHRIST!" The wise ass backed away from the table.
"Don't call me Jimmy you asswipe! My name is James!"
Groans and laughter filled the dayroom.
"Don't fuck with me. I mean what I say, I say what I mean, I mean it! Count on it!"
All day I was bothered by my words. Later that evening I questioned my father, "today, when I told everyone they could count on it, something clicked, but I'm not sure what it was. I don't know why. Would you know why?"
"I don't know if I'm the right person to ask," my father said. "But Shannie's coming tonight. Ask her."
"Shay-knee," I repeated. I liked how the syllables rolled off my tongue. "You think she'd know?" I asked.
"She'll have an idea." My father patted my hand.
I studied her photograph.
***
Shannie walked into my room wearing seriousness on her face and a jacket over her shoulder. After small talk my father excused himself. "Don't forget son."
"Don't forget what?"
"Something I said today." I paused, struggling to remember the details.
"What did you say today?" Shannie asked.
I told her about the cornflakes. "You didn't!" She laughed pushing my hair from my face.
I mentioned something clicking when I said, "count on it!"
She sat in the chair next to me. "What do you think it means?" Shannie clenched her jaw.
"I'm not sure." I looked away from her, frustrated that I couldn't get my thoughts together. Speaking to the wall I soldiered on. "I have this feeling like, that, that if I can figure this out, that, that I'll like remember who I am. Like I know my name is James. I think my last name is Morrison. But, like, I, I'll, ah, know, like, what my life was, ah, was all about, b-before the accident."