Cemetery Street - Page 250/263

"You know what?" I interrupted. "Home is overrated. Home is horrible. I am sick and tired of home! Home is a place where you're locked into the past. Home is where people argue for your limitations. You can't grow at home. If I stay, I'll always be just James. I'm tired of that! I'm tired of being Brain injured James. I'll always be Brain injured James. James can't hold a real job because of his condition. James gets angry because of his condition, not because something just pisses James off. It's always because of my condition. I'm telling you I'm a prisoner of my own identity. I'll always be brain injured James! Maybe my mother was right; she knew a sinking ship when she saw one. She knew that home life sucked. She knew to get out."

"Your mother sunk her own ship James. Don't repeat her mistake. What about Shannie? Do you…"

"Shannie's dead!" I snapped.

"Do you think Diane, your father, yourself, or even Shannie argued for Shannie's limitations?"

"Shannie had no limitations! She did anything she damned well pleased anytime she damned well pleased. She didn't let anyone stop her! I'm not going to let anyone stop me. Not Diane, not my father, not you, no one. No one is going to stop me!"

"What are we stopping you from James?"

"From leaving."

"I can't stop you James. Diane can't stop you. Your father can't stop you. The law can't. Only you can James. Only you."

"That's right!" I said full of bravado. "I wanna see anyone get in my way. I'll stomp on 'em; I'll roll right over 'em. No one's going to keep me from what I want!"

Krista sat back in her chair. A hush fell over her office, punctuated by the hypnotic tick of her office clock.

***

As the New Year approached I went about the business of leaving home. I shuddered under the burden of freedom and anonymity which loomed over my shoulder like a silent predator. As fearful as I was, I emptied my plate. My final chore was penning a note to Diane and my Father.

Diane and Dad:

I'm hoping that it won't come as a big surprise that I've decided to move on. With all that has happened I can't go on living in this town, this state, this part of the country. I don't know exactly where I'm going, but I know I'm headed out west. I'll contact you when I get where I'm going. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I'm in good hands with Ellie. Dad, all things considered, you're as good a father as they come. Diane, I love you like a mother.