Once Bitten, Twice Shy - Page 89/122

"I don't want Josh. I want you. I love you."

He watched her suspiciously. "Why?"

She fought for control. If she cried, if she pleaded - he would pity her. That was one emotion she didn't want him to feel for her. Anger, even rage, but not pity. She swallowed down a sob and wiped her eyes free of tears. Renewed with courage born of desperation, she met his gaze steadily.

"We've both said some things we shouldn't have said. And I . . . I didn't mean you weren't a man. I was angry and hurt. Maybe Josh never pushed me about sex because we're too much like sister and brother."

His gaze softened and he watched her reflectively. Finally he reached out and took her hand.

"I won't push you if you won't push me. I'm simply not ready to face that kind of commitment yet. Maybe I've been a bachelor too long. All I know is, I have doubts - and marriage is going to be hard enough with no doubts. When I get married it will be because I'm ready to put the effort into a permanent relationship. Neither of us knows each other that well yet. I thought, maybe if you came down and stayed with me a while . . ."

She touched his lips with her fingertips. "I know. I didn't realize you were feeling pushed - you always seem so sure of yourself. I won't say anything more about it."

Alex might have his doubts, but she didn't. Alex was the one. She was surer of that now than she had ever been. And he had said when I get married, not if. So he was serious all right. Was it too much to allow him time to think about it? After all, shouldn't she be doing some thinking as well? Could she entrust him with her heart?

He gazed down into her eyes and his voice was choked with emotion.

"I love you, Carmen. I'm afraid if I don't do something soon, Josh is going to get you back. He can give you things I can't."

She smiled up at him. "Josh can't give me anything more than you can. As a mater of fact, he can't give me the thing I want most. Love. The story book kind."

He took her in his arms then, and his lips were warm on hers. She slipped her arms around his neck and drew his mouth down harder on her own. They clung to each other, molding their bodies as one until the raging fire of passion consumed her. This time it was Alex who broke off the lovemaking.