He squeezed her hand, his gaze troubled. “I just hope you never regret marrying me.”
Hopefully he would have no regrets on that topic either.
Monday morning while she was feeding the horses, Brutus was watching the hills with unusual interest. Occasionally he would stand and bark. Then he would growl deep in his chest. It was eerie and disturbing. The area he was watching was where she often saw deer in the early morning hours.
“Brutus,” she reprimanded. “Leave the deer alone.”
Brutus looked up at her and then walked back to the barn, lying down beside the door.
That evening she prepared a special supper for Alex and dressed in the white sundress he liked so well. Putting the food in the oven to keep it warm, she decided there was enough time to feed the horses before he arrived.
She fed the horses, hoping Alex would like the perfume she wore better than the horses did.
As she turned to leave the barn, Josh stepped through the door.
“Here you are,” he said, slurring his words.
Carmen stared at him. He sounded like he had been drinking, but Josh didn’t touch liquor. His face was flushed, but his walk was as fluid as always.
“What’s the matter?” she asked as she stepped away from the stall.
His eyes were bloodshot and a little glassy. His gaze traced the curves of her body absently. “Lori,” he summed up in a word.
“Is something wrong with Lori?” She frowned up at him as he walked closer.
He snorted. “The usual. You need to talk to her.”
If there was one thing she didn’t need to do, it was talk to Lori about what was troubling them. She hung the empty bucket on a hook.
“Josh, this is between you and Lori. It really isn’t any of my business and it would only upset Lori more if I said anything.”
Not that there was anything to say. Lori didn’t want children. That was pretty straight forward.
“It should have been me,” he said, for the first time stumbling slightly when he moved.
“What should have been you?” Carmen stared up at him as he stepped closer.
“The first time. It should be me.” Josh took her by the arm and leaned down, brushing her lips with his before she realized his intent.
She jerked back and twisted her arm from his grasp. “Don’t, Josh. You’d better go. You’re drunk.”
He laughed without humor. “I’m not drunk. I only had two beers.” His hand shot out and captured her arm again before she could get away.
She stiffened, her voice gaining an edge.
“Leave me alone, Josh.”
He sobered, pulling her toward him.
“He’ll leave you. I won’t.”
She jerked her arm free again and turned quickly to get away from him. In her haste, she slammed her shoulder against the stall. Her shoulder scraped off the stall, catching the strap of her sundress on a board. As she surged forward to get away from Josh, a ripping sound followed her. She glanced down at her shoulder and saw blood oozing out of the scraped skin. A small tear was left where the strap had connected to her dress in the front.
Darting around a pole, she grabbed the top of the bodice so it wouldn’t fall. One glance back revealed that Josh was still in pursuit. She darted for the door and tripped over a piece of twine, plunging to the hay.
Josh was instantly beside her, grabbing her arm and twisting her to face him.
“Stop running, Shorty.”
She screamed, attempting to twist free of his grip, but it was too tight.
“Please, Josh. Don’t.”
She started to cry. Surely she hadn’t saved herself for Alex only to have Josh take her by force. She should have been sleeping with Alex all along. At least he would have been first. It was an illogical thought, but her mind was beyond logic.
Josh relaxed his grip and she jerked her arm free. Instantly she rolled over and tried to stand. Josh remained sitting in the hay, staring at her as if confused by her response.
“Get out of here,” she sobbed. “Don’t ever come back – EVER!”
Josh stood and brushed his clothing off, watching her warily as he stepped around her. Without another word he left the barn.
Her knees were suddenly weak and she grabbed a pole, sliding down to sit in the hay. She was unable to control the sobs that ravaged her body. Now that it was over she was falling apart. With blurred vision, she noticed the blood on her trembling hand. She blinked, trying to bring it into focus. Where did the blood come from?
“Carmen?” Alex called in a frantic voice as he ran into the barn. Immediately he spotted her and ran to her side, squatting in front of her.
“Are you alright?”
Dark eyes stood out in an unnaturally pale face. His gaze searched for the source of blood, finding it instantly.
“Oh my god, Carmen. What did he do to you?”
“Nothing,” she managed to say between sobs.
“Nothing? Your dress is torn and you’re bleeding.” He helped her to her feet and then lifted her in his arms.
“Let’s go to the house and I’ll examine your shoulder.”
“Put me down,” she said, squirming. The last thing she needed now was to be manhandled. “I can walk.”
He gently lowered her feet, but kept a supporting arm around her. His gaze was tortured.
“He was leaving as I came in. He was so . . .” His voice broke. “What did he do?” He hesitated. “Did he . . .” He left the sentence hanging, as if it were too horrible to put into words.
She shook her head, wiping the tears from her face with the back of her hand. “No. I thought he was going to, but when I started to cry, he . . . I don’t know. I told him to leave and he did.” She hiccoughed.
“Come on,” he said, guiding her toward the house. Let me look at that shoulder.”
He said nothing more until he started bandaging her shoulder.
“This looks like you were hit with a board.”
She had finally calmed down and was able to speak coherently.
“I hit it on the edge of the stall when I was running from him. It tore my strap off.”
“Why were you running from him? What did he do?”
She stared out the window. He didn’t do anything but kiss her. Maybe she had only assumed he was going to do something. Was he actually chasing her, or was he trying to see if she was hurt? Whatever his intent, he was chasing her – and she certainly hadn’t imagined the kiss.
Alex finished bandaging her shoulder. He took her chin in one hand and turned her face so that he could look into her eyes. His gaze was troubled as he spoke.
“Carmen, I need to know what happened – exactly. If you don’t tell me, I’ll have to go to the police with what I do know.”
Carmen gasped. “The police? Why?”
“Did he attack you?”
She stared at him. “I don’t know. He kissed me on the mouth and told me . . .” she swallowed down a lump in her throat. “That it was supposed to be him the first time. He kept grabbing my arm. When I ran, he chased me and I fell. I thought he was going to . . . but he didn’t. I don’t know if he was going to do anything . . . more.”
He released her chin and turned away, pacing the kitchen floor. Finally he turned to her.
“Pack some things. I’m taking you to stay at Katie and Bill’s. I never should have asked you to stay here while I was at work. Katie was right. I can’t protect you.”
She stared at him again. “But I wanted to stay here. I like being here.”
She plucked a tissue from the box on the counter and blew her nose. She must look a sigh.
He shook his head. “You stayed here because I wanted you to stay here. Would you still feel safe here while I was at work?”
She sighed. “In less than a week we’ll be married. I’ll be staying here then, so what difference does it make?”
His gaze wandered over her face, resting on her lips.
“Because after we’re married, it will be too late for him to try to stake a claim.”
His gaze came back to hers. “He’s come to you three times now, Carmen. Each time he gets bolder. The closer it gets to our wedding day, the more desperate he gets.”
She met his gaze calmly. “He was drunk. He said he had two beers. Josh doesn’t drink, so I’m sure that was all it took. He stopped when I cried and he left when I told him to.”
He nodded. “This time.” He sighed heavily. “I’m going to talk to him.”
“No,” she said quickly.
“Why not?”
She gnawed on her lower lip and looked away. “He’ll hurt you.”
He was silent so long that she looked up at him. A sardonic smile touched his lips.
“Thanks for all the faith you have in me.”
Her face flamed. “I’m sorry. It’s just that he’s so big, and . . .”
“And I’m so little? David slew Goliath.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Carmen, I have no intention of getting into a fist fight with him. I only want to talk to him.”
“I’m afraid,” she said.
His gaze wandered over her face again, this time stopping at her eyes.
“So am I, but not for my safety. You can’t imagine how frightened I was when I saw you on the barn floor, crying.”
He pulled the cell phone from its pouch on his pocket and flipped it open.
“Get some clothes together, Carmen. I’ll call Katie.”
He was dialing when she left the room. There was no point in arguing with him. He had made up his mind – and he had final say.
Staying at Katie and Bills house was a stark reminder of what would be missing in her life with Alex. Bill had put a cot in what was to be the nursery. Katie was expecting twins, but they hadn’t put up the cribs yet. Still, it was crowded, and living out of a suitcase wasn’t Carmen’s idea of living.
As it approached time for Alex to get off work the first day, she kept watch on the driveway for his truck. Did he talk to Josh yet, or was that what he was doing now? The idea of what Josh might do made her stomach contract. Alex thought he could handle Josh. Maybe he could. He had known her less than a week when he defended her bravely against Josh the first time. Alex had been no match for Josh there in her kitchen, but he had certainly done well for himself. And then again weeks later when Josh had caught them kissing in the barn. Both times Josh had walked away without harming Alex. But Josh had not been motivated enough to hurt him. Now Alex was only days away from assuming the role Josh had always considered his. Josh was married to Lori now, but he was territorial. Even if romance was no longer part of his feelings for Carmen, he still didn’t like the idea of someone else actually taking what he had considered for so long as his place. If Alex tried to tell him what to do, Josh might lose his temper. Alex was fast, but he probably wouldn’t run. That would be his undoing.
She sighed. Alex was right. She should have more faith in him. He had been a top salesman, which meant he had a way with words, and that’s all he intended to do - talk. It was either that or let him call the police. Besides, there was nothing she could do at this point – nothing but pray. It crossed her mind to call him, but if he was with Josh, that might be a trigger. She turned to Katie, who was working a puzzle on a table in the kitchen.
“Everything will be ready to eat in about 30 minutes. I think I’ll go outside for a while.”
“Sure, go ahead. You’ve been working all day. You need a break. Besides,” She glanced out the window at the drive. “He’ll be along pretty soon.”
A flush warmed her cheeks. “I don’t think so. He would have been here by now if he was coming. Maybe he needs a rest from me.”
Katie laughed. “He’ll be here. Give him time to go home and get pretty.”
Carmen left the house and strolled down the pathway to the garden. He might need to go home and clean up, alright. On the other hand, maybe he decided not to talk to Josh. Maybe he was glad to have her out of the house so he could enjoy some privacy.
The garden was beginning to look weathered. The tomato plants were drooping, their crop reduced to small discolored fruit. The second crop of cabbage was starting to develop, and the Okra looked good. Of course, it liked hot weather.
The sound of tires crunching on gravel brought her attention back to the drive. The sight of the white dodge ram truck threw her pulse into high gear. Abandoning any thought of propriety, she ran down the path to meet him. When he emerged from the truck in one piece and with no visible damage, she threw herself into his waiting arms. Capturing his neck in the noose of her arms, she kissed him passionately.
When she finally pulled away from him, she was breathless.
“I missed you so much!”
His hands captured her waist and pulled her close again, kissing her ardently. When he released her, he grinned.
“Wow!”
She blushed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so bold.”
“Stop apologizing,” he said, drawing her into his arms again.
This time his kiss was warm and gentle - her response more controlled.
When he released her again, she stepped back and looked up at him.
“Did you talk to Josh?”
His dark chocolate gaze drifted over her face.
“Yeah. He said he was trying to catch you to see how bad you were hurt. He asked me to tell you he was sorry for scaring you.”
Carmen hung her head. “I guess I panicked.”
“You didn’t panic. What were you supposed to do? He was talking and acting in an inappropriate manner. He admitted as much.”
She lifted her head and gazed into his eyes.
“You don’t think I acted like a scared rabbit?”
He gathered her into his arms again.
“Carmen, if you ever feel threatened by him, get away from him as fast as you can – imagined or not. I’ve asked him to stay away from you until the wedding and he said he would.”
Leaning his head down, he kissed her lips softly.
When his kiss ended, she whispered softly only inches from his lips.
“Alex, I love you so much. I want to be with you all the time.”
He stepped away and took her arm, starting toward the house. When he finally spoke, his voice was controlled.
“Come on, sweetheart. We’d better go in before I make another indecent proposal.”
She laughed and fell into step beside him.
“Supper should be ready.”
Later when she and Katie were washing dishes and the men were outside, Katie turned to her.
“How in the world did you two manage to live in the same house without sleeping together?”
Carmen laughed. “We tried to act like an old married couple.”
“Like outside when he arrived?”
Warmth flooded up Carmen’s neck. “No. We’re not living together now, so we can be more . . . affectionate toward each other.” She sighed. “Besides, he told me that he wants to wait too. It’s only a few more days.”
Katie lifted her brows. “Yeah? Does that mean if you were willing, he’d refuse?”
Carmen shrugged. “I don’t know.”
Katie washed a dish and rinsed it in silence. Finally she looked at Carmen.
“It looks like your ‘something old’ has become his ‘something new’.”
Bill was talking to Alex when the men walked into the kitchen from outside. Alex glanced at Carmen, his gaze softening when it met hers. The brief visual contact was like a caress, warming her cheeks and heart. The two men went down the hallway, still in conversation. Apparently Bill had something to show Alex.
Katie was watching her when Carmen’s attention came back to the dishes. Katie grinned and shook her head.
“You two are really gone on each other. Heidi and Pretty Boy - who would have guessed?”
“He’s not a pretty boy,” Carmen said, her face burning warmer.
“You were the one who called him that, remember?”
“I remember, but I was wrong.”
Katie cupped a soap sud clad hand to her ear. “Could you repeat that?”
Carmen flipped the towel at her and grinned. “I was eating crow on that one within a few days.”
Alex and Bill walked back into the kitchen.
“It’s getting late,” Alex said. “I’d better head for home. I’ve got a long day tomorrow.” He reached for Carmen’s hand. “Come on, sweetheart. Walk me to the truck.”
Carmen took his hand and grinned at Katie as she passed. “He’s afraid of snakes,” she said by way of explanation.
Alex glanced at Carmen and then at Katie. Katie laughed.
“I didn’t say a word.”
Carmen giggled. “Thanks for confirming my suspicions.”
Alex gave her a wry smile and jerked on her hand. “Come on,” he repeated.
Carmen followed him out to the truck, eagerly allowing him to draw her into an embrace. It was dark there beside the truck, and for a moment he simply held her close. She snuggled against his chest and sighed contentedly. Finally he lifted her chin and kissed her lips. His were warm and the kiss was confident and lengthy. She responded with enthusiasm until he finally gently pushed her away.
“I want to come home,” she blurted out.
“I’ll bring you home Sunday,” he said in a calm voice.
“That’s five days away,” she said. “I don’t think I can stand another night. Josh said he wouldn’t come around me until after the wedding, didn’t he? I’ll leave when you do.”
He pulled her close again and for a few moments they stood in silence again. When he finally spoke, his voice was controlled.
“It’s too much for me, Carmen. I love having you there, but I don’t sleep well knowing you’re in the next room.”
Of course. Why didn’t she think of that? After a sleepless night, he had to go to work in the morning. Maybe all this waiting was archaic. In less than a week they would be man and wife. What difference did it make if they jumped the gun a little? The present situation was inconvenient for everyone. She hesitated a moment and then leaned back, looking at his face in the moonlight as she spoke.
“Then I’ll sleep with you.”
He caught his breath and then gently pushed her away.
“No, we’ll wait. You’d be sorry the morning after – and so would I. Maybe we wouldn’t be sorry for the night we spent together, or what we did, but we’d be sorry we didn’t have the strength of character to wait.”
He was right. She’d spend the rest of her life knowing she caved in to desire only five days away from her goal. At this point it was as much a test of self-discipline as anything else. If they gave in now, it might be the beginning of a habit of doing so.
Katie was right. She had been the one who insisted that they wait until after marriage, but it was Alex who came up with sound reasoning for it.
She sighed. “You’re right. I just wish I could go home. I feel like a fifth wheel here, and there is so much to do at home.”
“My mind is running in circles here,” he said. “Define home.”
She laughed. “Well, I’m not surprised that you’re confused. I guess my house and yours are both home to me now.”
“Good.” He kissed her on the forehead. “I’ve got to go.” He hesitated. “I might not come by tomorrow.”
“It’s OK. I’ll be fine. You need the rest.” She kissed his cheek and then he turned his head, capturing her lips with his. For a moment they kissed, and then parted.
“Just one thing,” she said.
He lifted a brow.
“I want to do the chores. I can drive over there and do them . . .”
“No.”
“Why not? They’re my animals.”
He sighed heavily. “Carmen, you’re safe here. Why can’t you let it go at that?”
“Because they’re my animals, and I don’t have anything to do here.”
He frowned down at her. “What about the wedding?”
She met his troubled gaze. “What about it?”
He sighed again, gripping her shoulders, his gaze stern.
“I’ll do the chores. I don’t want you at our house again until after the wedding unless I’m with you. Is that clear?”
For a moment they silently exchanged determined expressions. Finally she shrugged.
“Okay. If that’s what you want.”
He pulled her close and kissed her forehead.
“That is the way I want it.”
“Good bye,” she said, starting toward the house.
“Good bye,” he echoed, and climbed into his truck.
At the door she stopped and watched his truck go down the road – watched the tail lights get bright as he stopped on the main road, and then watched them fade down the highway. With a heavy sigh, she turned to the house.
She was the one who wanted him to make the decisions. It didn’t make sense for her to stay at Katie’s if she was going to be there at his house during the day when he wasn’t around. Besides, the wedding was only five days away.