Man Up - Page 84/268

"How long have you known?" Jacob finally asked after having found his voice. It was dry and raspy he noticed.

"…Summer nineteen ninety-six." He quietly spoke. Jacob couldn't hide his surprise at hearing that.

"That long huh?" Jacob was shocked that the teen not only knew for so long, but that he had the discipline to keep it to himself. However it wasn't discipline that had made Jayden keep his mouth shut for so long. It was exactly what he felt he was experiencing now; his worst fear realized of- face-to-face rejection from his father.

Jacob suddenly wished that the kid had never told him. He suddenly wished that the kid had continued to act like he knew nothing and had taken his secret to his grave. Now that Jacob knew, how he could justify himself and his actions? At least when he knew not the whereabouts of his son, the guilt would not eat away at his conscience. What would be his excuse now for not doing and being a part of his son's life? He had no more excuses and this was psychologically unsettling for him.

What did this kid want from him? What did he have to offer him? Jacob was assaulted with so many questions but he couldn't think right now. The shock of it all left him feeling emotionally paralyzed. He needed to get away. Abruptly it hit Jacob that the reason why he wasn't in this child's life was because there was nothing that he wanted to give him. Everything that he had to give; he wanted to and had invested into his family with Louise. Everything he had and was about was being passed down to the only two children whom he recognize as his own- his adopted children. He didn't want them to want for anything. He only wanted to protect his family; and as bad as it may have seemed; he did not consider this kid as a part of his family. Therefore he felt he had no obligation, no ties and no responsibility to him. He had made his feelings clear with his mother when he had told her to abort the child; and his feelings hadn't changed from that time. Therefore he felt that he had no other alternative except to walk away again. After all didn't he have a right to live the kind of life that he wanted to?

Jayden was astute enough to see that Jacob was disconcerted by the news and didn't know what to say to him. He covertly observed him standing there being stupefied. Suddenly he watched as his father reached into his upper jacket pocket retrieving something.