Alex was gone four days and was as solemn on his return as he was when he left. All that time and he was unable to solve his financial problem. That didn’t sound like Alex. What was even worse, their love life was suffering. Alex lacked interest, and it wasn’t a simple case of Alex not wanting to make love. He was normal in that respect. It was the romancing that had suffered. It shouldn’t be any surprise, since that was what suffered when he had been troubled in the past. Still, the romancing was so much a part of him that it was as if he wasn’t even Alex.
Whatever his problem, she needed to get involved. If it was Tessa or Dulce, she needed to fight fire with fire. They didn’t have anything she didn’t possess – except sophistication. That was impossible to fake. Still, Alex didn’t hesitate to push her buttons, and she knew how to push his. This time she wasn’t going to wait for him to romance her. She was going to romance him.
As if bent on assisting her, the weather turned steamy when it entered the second week of June. She pushed her winter clothes to the back of the closet and washed the summer ones so they would be fresh. Makeup was something she rarely wore, but she did have some. The trick was to enhance her looks without being obvious that she was wearing it. She practiced while he was at work and removed it before he came home.
School was out and Jonathan was scheduled to start camp next week. Actually, having Jonathan there would work better into her plans, but Jonathan was having his own sexual revolution right now. He didn’t need any tips on the art of romancing. Besides, Destiny would be there to assist with creating the required amount of restraint.
The day Jonathan went to camp, she began working on her plan. Since everyone knew the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach, she started with a special meal. Alex didn’t like highly spiced food, so she decided to bake Cornish game hens for the base of the meal. Then she used wild and long grain rice instead of stuffing. Corn seasoned with red bell peppers and black beans made a colorful vegetable. For desert she cooked his favorite – peach cobbler. Destiny watched her suspiciously throughout her cooking frenzy and helped her set the table with Mom’s china.
With the food warming, Carmen took Destiny to her room and dressed. She selected an off-the-shoulder lilac colored sun dress that Alex liked. This time she made no attempt to pull the bodice up. It looked nice against her winter paled skin. She applied light colored lipstick and then put some on Destiny’s lips. Destiny quickly got into the makeup fun. She helped Destiny into a frilly white dress with yellow trim and they both finished up with white sandals. Carmen tied Destiny’s curls with a yellow ribbon. She used a few combs to pull hers into a French bun. As an afterthought, she finished it all off with the earrings and necklace that Alex had given her at the party. Destiny wanted to wear some jewelry too, so she let her wear the white pearl choker necklace that her mother had given her. When Destiny wanted to wear a ring like mommy, Carmen tied a yellow ribbon around her finger and made a bow of it on the top. She looked so cute that Carmen took a few pictures of her.
With everything ready, they sat on the window seat and watched for Alex. When they spotted his truck, Destiny squealed.
“Hew come Daddy!”
Together they went to the kitchen and began putting the food in serving bowls. When Alex walked through the door, they were standing by the table, waiting on him. Destiny was a little lady, waiting until he came into the kitchen before plowing into him. She escorted him to wash his hands, talking all the while. Alex divided his attention between a very attentive Destiny and a reserved Carmen.
“Do I wook pwetty?” Destiny asked, holding out her skirt.
Alex smiled down at her. “You sure do.”
“Mommy and me get pwetty for wou.”
Alex shifted his attention to Carmen, his gaze covering her from toe to head. He lifted a brow.
“You certainly did.”
When Alex returned to the table, he sat in the chair Carmen held for him.
He glanced up at her. “What’s the occasion?”
Carmen smiled as she leaned over to kiss him. “You’re home.”
He eyed her suspiciously, his gaze lingering on the swell of her breasts above the dress bodice.
Warmth crawled up her neck. Suspicious he might be, but he was interested all the same.
Throughout the meal she led the subject a weaving path around the animals, the weather, and work on the nursery. He participated in conversation, but whenever it lagged, he watched her questioningly.
After the meal, he remained in the kitchen, sitting at the table, watching her while she put the leftovers away and put the dishes in the dishwasher. Destiny wandered off to her room to play.
Carmen turned to Alex. “Would you like to play a game?”
His lips held a faint smile and his eyes twinkled. “I think we already are.”
She gave him a coy smile. “I mean, one you have a chance of winning.”
His laugh was sudden and short, engaging the dimple.
“Well now,” she said softly. “I was beginning to wonder if you lost that.”
His brows lifted. “What?”
“That cute dimple.”
He sobered and slowly stood, gazing down at her.
“Is that what this is all about?” he asked. “Cheering me up?”
She leaned toward him, smiling up at him suggestively. “Is it working?”
The twinkle came back into his eyes. “As a matter of fact, I’m beginning to feel pretty good.”
His hands gripped her waist, drawing her close. She melted in his embrace, returning his hungry kiss. A warm hand caressed its way up her back and around to cradle her breast.
She gently broke the embrace and stepped away, smiling up at him in an inviting way.
“I’d better go check on Destiny.”
He lifted a brow. “Isn’t it getting close to her bedtime?”
“Soon,” she replied as she turned toward the hallway. “I don’t want to put her to bed too early, though. She’ll wake up in the middle of the night, wide awake.”
He picked up the newspaper and settled into his chair while she checked on Destiny. When she returned, he was absorbed in the paper.
She walked behind his chair, leaning over it and putting her arms around him. She hugged him and kissed his temple.
“I love you so much.”
He leaned his head back and smiled up at her.
“I needed that.”
“To hear I love you?” she asked.
He chuckled softly. “The hug.”
She shrugged. “You deserved it . . . and much more.”
He folded the newspaper and placed it on the lamp stand.
“Come here.”
She stepped around the chair and stood before him.
He motioned to his lap. “Sit down.”
She grinned. “I’ll crush you.”
He held a hand up to her and then guided her down to his lap. She settled into his lap, welcoming the hands that encircled her waist. Then she unbuttoned the first few buttons on his shirt and slipped her arms around his neck. Kissing his chin, she worked her way around to his cheek. He turned his head and kissed her on the mouth. That was all it took. She melted into his arms, eagerly returning his warm kisses and welcoming the feel of his fingers as they searched for the zipper on the back of her dress.
“Mommy?” A voice broke into their lovemaking.
Carmen jerked her arms from his neck and sat up. The seduction was going all too well – for her.
“What is it, honey?” Carmen asked.
“Me wana take a baf,” she said, holding up a plastic toy.
Carmen climbed off Alex’s lap and took Destiny’s soft little hand in hers.
“Well, let’s take care of that,” she said. Glancing down at Alex, she smiled. “I’ll be right back.”
She ran the bath water for Destiny and helped her into the tub with her toy before rejoining Alex. When she returned, he was putting a CD into the player. He glanced up when she entered the room. A slow song began as he moved toward her. Without a word, she slipped into his arms and fell into the rhythm of his step.
They moved around the room; her head on his shoulder, her hand in his. Destiny’s voice came reassuringly from the bathroom as she played. At the moment, it felt more domestic than romantic. Still, life with Alex was romance. So why was she looking for more? Actually, it wasn’t romance she was looking for. Alex had guessed it from the start. She wanted to see him happy. Somehow that converted to romance in their marriage.
She sighed and snuggled against him, feeling the beat of his heart . . . or was that her own?
“Mommy . . . Me wedy get out.” Destiny’s voice sang from the other room.
Carmen leaned back in his arms and smiled up at him.
“I’d better get her ready for bed.”
He released her without objection and she walked away to get Destiny. As she walked away from him, she let her hips swing slightly. As she turned to go into the room, she glanced back at him.
He was watching her, a wry smile on his face and an amused twinkle in his eyes.
“I sure hope you’re going to deliver what you’ve been promising all evening.”
Seducing him was something she thought would be difficult, but it was actually enjoyable. She pushed back the feeling of shame. This was no time to get shy on him. She gave him her most fetching smile and stepped out of the hallway.
After her bath, Carmen dressed Destiny for bed. Destiny’s eyelids drooped and paused, then opened wide. Carmen read to her from a book for a few minutes until she fell asleep and then turned the light off.
Alex was on the window seat when she returned, gazing out at the night. His gaze shifted to her as she sat down, and he smiled.
“Where were we?”
She laughed softly. “Let me remind you,” she said as she leaned forward and kissed his lips.”
Right now she wished she hadn’t started this romancing thing. It was so much more fun when she left it all up to him. Maybe he felt that way too. It was hardly fair to shift that responsibility solely to him. From now on she’d have a lot more respect for the art of romancing.
When she pulled back, his dark chocolate gaze turned sultry, quickening her pulse. His fingers touched her chin and slid down her throat, exploring their way down to her bodice. She moved closer to him, fighting a strong urge to completely surrender to him.
As his fingers traced a warm tingly path to the back of her dress, hers traced his lips. He tugged on her zipper, slowly pulling it down.
Reaching up, she turned off the light and then moved close to him, unbuttoning his shirt. This was usually the point at which he carried her to their room. Instead, he assisted her, his lips seeking hers urgently all the while.
She started to get up so she could lead him to their bedroom, but he tugged her back down to the window seat. Then, without carrying her to their room, he took command of the romancing. She relaxed in his arms, comfortable in surrendering to his lead. It was the first time they made love any place outside their bedroom, and it was way beyond exciting.
The next morning when he stood by the door before leaving for work, she looked him over while he examined a document. From his square-toed boots to the white shirt tucked into indigo jeans, his lean frame was something to admire. He glanced up and caught her watching him. It was the first time she didn’t blush. Maybe that was why his response lacked the usual mocking humor.
His solemn gaze met hers. “Thanks for last night. It was a delightful surprise.”
“My pleasure,” she responded with equal sincerity.
Although she had said the words “I love you,” several times, he had not uttered them. Still, a person didn’t need to say it to feel it. Actions spoke louder than words. Yet, no matter how many times she tried to reassure herself of that, she remained concerned. Alex wasn’t happy right now. It would do no good to ask him why. He would simply evade the question - like he did in Texas.
While her romance session failed to reveal his problem, it did wonders for her confidence. It ushered out the blushing new bride and escorted in a wife ready to explore with her husband. It wasn’t one night of loving that made the difference. It was a change of attitude. The morning after came without shame or embarrassment. Their relationship was no longer swathed in innocence. It was as if they had started a fresh relationship.
Alex continued to be preoccupied with his problem – whatever it was. Even Katie noticed the change in him and asked Carmen about the cause.
“I don’t have a clue,” Carmen replied.
Katie made a face. “He doesn’t tell you anything, does he?”
Carmen shrugged. “He’s always been secretive, and whenever I ask him, he just tells me it’s something I don’t want to be involved in.”
Katie stared at her, hands on hips. “How long are you going to put up with this?”
Carmen groaned.
“You have a right to know, Carmen. You have a right to know everything. He’s treating you like he did me. If you don’t stand up and demand a change, he’ll keep on doing it.”
“I know, but he makes the decisions.”
Katie sighed heavily and leaned forward. “Surely he doesn’t make all the decisions. I mean – does he tell you what to cook for supper and what to wear?”
Carmen smiled. “Of course not.”
“Then he just makes all the important decisions – and you have no input?” Katie said, lifting a brow.
“That’s not true . . .” Carmen said.
Katie leaned back, a triumphant look on her face as if she had made a point.
“How do you have input when he won’t give you any facts?”
Carmen clamped her mouth shut. It was hard to say whether Alex was withholding facts so she couldn’t contest his decisions or it simply didn’t concern her. He had a lot of investments and . . . But then; he insisted those things were also hers. Obviously he didn’t actually believe that. Neither did she, but she wasn’t claiming that they were hers, either. On the other hand, if he lost them, she would be sharing the loss of lifestyle.
Katie stood. “Good. It’s about time you started thinking defensively.”
Carmen looked up at her. “I don’t have to defend myself against Alex.”
Katie groaned and rolled her eyes. “He’s human, Carmen. Besides, you’re creative and innovative. I find it hard to believe you wouldn’t help him if you could. Just because he doesn’t ask for or want your help, doesn’t mean he doesn’t need it. You’re trying to live like your parents, Carmen. Maybe it was good for them – I don’t know, but I don’t think it’s going to be good for you – or Alex.”
Those words stayed in her mind all afternoon. Alex was an astute businessman and she had no experience at all. Still, maybe a fresh perspective might help. Maybe she wasn’t happy with the way her parents lived. If she was, why was she constantly questioning him? Did Mom question Dad? In any case, Alex might not be happy with her old-fashioned ideas.
Katie was right about one thing. If Alex needed help, he wouldn’t ask her for it. Maybe he was trying to protect her, but more likely he was simply trying to conceal the problem. Whatever it was, she wanted to know. If their marriage was going to continue its path toward maturity, she was going to have to put a foot down.
When Alex came home that night she had supper ready. She caught him watching her several times, obviously wondering why she was so quiet. He must have guessed the cause, because he didn’t enquire until the children had gone to bed. She was slicing some left over pork roast for a recipe tomorrow when Alex walked in and announced that Destiny and Jonathan were asleep. Normally he would have asked if she was ready to go to bed, or even if she needed help. Tonight he divided his attention between the knife and her face – no doubt waiting for her to broach the subject. She had rehearsed her script earlier, but now the words evaded her. Finally she put the knife down and started putting the sliced meat in a plastic container.
“You’ve been quiet for weeks – since we left Texas. I had hoped that you would resolve your problem, but it seems to have no end.”
Alex watched her fill the container and put the lid on. When she looked up at him, his gaze roved over her face. The great white hunter was on the prowl.
“It’s a big problem,” he said.
“Evidently. I’m wondering why you don’t enlist help.”
“It’s personal.”
She met his steady gaze. “So is our relationship.”
He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. “Carmen . . .” he moaned, as if she were beating a dead horse.
She rinsed her hands. “Enough Alex. It’s been months. You had your chance to solve it on your own. I want to know what the problem is. I want to be part of this – whatever it is. You want me to think of all this as ours, but how can I when you insist that the problems are all yours?”
He watched her while she wiped her hands, his expression unreadable. Finally he took down a couple of cups and poured them some coffee. She followed him to the table and sat opposite him, waiting for him to open the subject. He took a few sips and finally broached the subject.
“I have a son,” he finally blurted. Immediately his gaze riveted on hers, searching for every emotion. It must have been a smorgasbord.
If he had said he lost all his money gambling, it wouldn’t have been a bigger shock. How did having a son become a financial issue?
“I didn’t know about him until you and I went to Texas,” he added when she stared at him stupidly.
Her stomach contracted and then twisted into a knot. She finally found her voice.
“Is that what you and Dulce were fighting about?”
Color crawled up his neck and his gaze shifted to the coffee mug.
“Not really. Partly – in a way.”
No wonder Dulce didn’t want to let go of him. Immediately after that thought came another – more painful. Alex had lied. He and Dulce did have a relationship - and he did know she loved him. Interjected into that revelation came the memory of something Josh said before she married Alex. He said Alex was the kind of man who would crawl into bed with a woman on the first date. She felt sick.
When she didn’t respond, Alex looked up. “I didn’t know,” he repeated with more emphasis.
If he had lied to her, he might have cheated as well. Maybe she didn’t know him as well as she thought she did. She met his gaze, her stomach tense as she steeled herself against the response to her next probing question.
“How old is he?”
He frowned as he considered the question. “Eight, I think.”
It was a relief - at least to a degree. They had been married almost five years, so . . . that meant the baby was conceived long before they met - about the time he and Tessa were going to get married. No wonder Dulce had been so upset. Maybe that was the real reason Tessa left him. But then, if Tessa didn’t marry him, why didn’t Dulce tell him about the baby? Maybe because he went into hiding from his family. Unless . . . it was after Tessa left him. Maybe he was so distraught that he turned to Dulce for comfort.
Alex reached across the table and put his hand over hers.
“You see? That’s why I didn’t tell you. I knew you’d be upset and there is nothing you can do . . . nothing I can do.”
She met his gaze defiantly. “Just because it upsets me doesn’t mean I don’t want to know – or that you shouldn’t tell me. You can’t avoid conflict all the time.”
He shrugged, but didn’t respond.
With the initial shock out of the way, she focused on the facts.
“So, is she suing you for child support?”
His mouth twisted into a bitter smile.
“I wish that was all she wanted. I don’t know why she didn’t ask for it before – or why she didn’t tell me about the baby. I would have accepted responsibility.”
The wound opened again and the salt he threw into it drew a sharp response from her.
“Maybe she thought you would deny it was yours.”
As soon as she said it she wished she could take it back. Alex’s head jerked up and his jaw dropped. He looked as if she had hit him in the stomach.
“I’m sorry,” she said instantly. “That was a terrible thing to say.”
His mouth snapped shut and shame filled his eyes.
“Probably accurate, though. I would have figured it was his.”
His? Who? If Dulce had a boyfriend, no one had mentioned it. But then, no one mentioned a child, either.
“Where is he now?” she asked.
He shrugged. “Back in Kentucky with his step father. She said he wouldn’t let her take him with her.”
Carmen stared at him. No one had said anything about Dulce being married, either. Would there be a point at which she stopped being surprised by his family? More important, would there ever be a time when he stopped hiding things from her? They were making progress, though. He was talking now. If Alex had known he had a son, things would have been different. Would he have married Dulce?
She drug her mind back from that thought. He didn’t marry Dulce. All this happened before they were married – before they met. There was no reason to feel threatened. Alex needed her support right now. He must be devastated.
“I’m sorry, Alex.” She said. “I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. I wish you had said something earlier. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.”
As he absorbed her words, his expression went from tense to relieved, and then on to something sweet and sad. He squeezed her hand and his voice sounded constricted.
“Carmen . . .” He wiped moisture from his eyes. “I don’t deserve someone like you.”
Carmen left her chair in one quick movement and circled his neck with her arms, kissing him on the temple.
“Don’t talk like that,” she said gently. “Everyone makes mistakes. You’re a wonderful husband and father.”
He caressed her arms and leaned into her hug. “I love you.”
The sincerity in his voice brought tears to her eyes. He must have been suffering a lot in the last months, and afraid to say anything because it might make things worse. Surely he knew she wouldn’t leave him over something that happened before they met. And again, sooner or later she would be bound to find out. Why put it off? Probably because he didn’t know how to handle the situation – and Alex always wanted to be in control. A person couldn’t be in control all the time – right all the time.
She sighed. At least now they could face this thing together. It was yet another example of the way their marriage continued to mature.
She gave him a final squeeze and released him. She returned to her chair and sat down, gazing up at him.
“So exactly what is it that Dulce wants you to do?”
He stared at her blankly. “Dulce?”
She returned his stare. If it wasn’t Dulce, then who? Tessa, of course. Why didn’t she think of that first? They were engaged. Considering his attitude about premarital sex before they got married, why wouldn’t she think he and Tessa had been intimate? Maybe because she didn’t want to think about it then.
“Tessa?” she corrected.
He frowned. “Why would you think I was talking about Dulce? I told you there was nothing going on between us.”
A warm flush started up her neck. “I guess because the way she acted while we were there.”
“You thought I lied to you.” His tone was injured. “Have I ever lied to you?”
“No,” she admitted, ducking her head. Certainly not that she knew about.
He sighed. “I wouldn’t lie to you, Carmen - not intentionally, anyway.”
Of course not. Why would he need to lie when he could simply tell her that it didn’t concern her? Why lie when she made it so easy for him to avoid talking about it at all?
All that was true enough, but remaining bitter about it wasn’t going to improve their relationship. She had a choice. She could let this escalate or she could accept the fact that he was trying to improve.
She bit her lower lip. “I’m sorry.”
He stood, and when she looked up at him, he leaned down and kissed her lips. Then he drew back, his gaze running over her face in that familiar confident way.
“I guess the way I’ve acted . . . not telling you things – what else could you think?”
She gazed up at him. “Don’t treat me that way, Alex. I want to be a part of your life. It makes me feel small when you keep things from me – like you don’t trust me, or you think I’m not mature enough to handle it.”
He lifted her hand and kissed it. “I don’t feel that way – ever. I just want to protect you . . .”
“I love that you’re protective,” she interrupted, “even when there is nothing to protect me from. I like our relationship. It works for us. I just want to do my part, and I can’t if I don’t have all the facts.”
He nodded, taking her hand and guiding her up out of the chair. “Why don’t we all make another trip to Texas?”
She smiled up at him. “Why don’t we?”
It wasn’t something she was looking forward to, but it might be helpful. If they presented a united front, Tessa might back up. After all, her husband was the one who had custody of the boy.
“What’s his name?” she asked.
“Allen,” he said. “Allen Jr.”
“Has Tessa tried to get custody of him?”
He shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “I just can’t figure her. Why would she hide him from me all this time and suddenly ask for a fortune? If she doesn’t have custody, then why go through all this?”
“Does her husband know what she’s doing?”
Alex shrugged. “I assume he does. If he has custody, she couldn’t get the money.”
The idea came to her suddenly. For the first time the memory of how he reacted when she told him she was pregnant wasn’t a painful one. In fact, it was a virtual revelation. Alex wanted a baby as much as she did. Now that he knew it had been a possibility all along, he was ready – maybe even eager - to believe he actually had a son. He was so eager to believe it that he accepted Tessa’s word in spite of what she had done to him in the past.
At that moment there was a choice to make. She could dwell on things in the past and be angry, or she could support him and let the past go. If she focused on the past, he would be encouraged to hide things in the future. Ultimately she would forgive him, so why not start now?
Freedom from that ugly feeling gave her the ability to speak of it lightly for the first time. She gave him a sarcastic smile.
“Well, I like that. When I said you were the father, you couldn’t believe it. She tells you and it’s automatically fact.”
His expression went from confusion to surprise and then back again. His gaze scoured her face.
“You think the boy might not be mine?”
Carmen shrugged. “I think it’s highly likely – especially given the circumstances.”
His gaze drifted away as he considered the idea. When it came back to her face, a slow smile erased the creases between his brows.
“I sure wish I had said something to you earlier, Sherlock.”
She wrinkled her nose at him. “I’m not Sherlock. I’m Heidi.”
He grabbed her waist and drew her close. “You’re Carmen, and that’s a lot.” He planted a lingering kiss on her lips and drew back. “She’s my favorite character.”
Carmen threw her arms around his neck and sighed deeply. Maybe she couldn’t make the ugly beast go away completely, but she had learned to control it. Now they could discuss things instead of avoiding sensitive subjects - build on their relationship instead of tearing it down with the same demolition ball.
“So what were you and Dulce arguing about?”
He grimaced. “It wasn’t any one thing. First it was the inheritance thing. Then when she learned about Tessa’s son, she was furious because he might inherit – even though I hadn’t said anything to father. She wanted me to tell him – and you.
Carmen nodded. “I can imagine why she wanted you to tell me.” She gazed up at him. “Wouldn’t it have been easier if you had told me?”
For a moment he gazed down at her, his expression much like the trapped fox in the hen house. Finally he shrugged. “I suppose so, but I thought I could work it out.”
Carmen lifted her brows. “And I’d never find out?”
He frowned. “I was going to tell you – as soon as I had a handle on it. I didn’t know what to tell you until then. You’d just be needlessly concerned.”
She frowned. “Gosh Alex, didn’t you realize that all this silence was already troubling me?”
He opened his mouth to speak and then clamped it shut. His gaze wandered over her face in contemplation. Finally he shrugged.
“I guess I didn’t think about it that way.”
Baby steps. He was thinking about it now. Maybe it had been partly her fault for insisting that he wear the pants. Of course he would feel responsible for working it out and not troubling her with it. Maybe Katie was right.