To Thine Own Self - Page 35/155

They worked for a while and finally Carmen looked up at him and made a face.

"I enjoy our time alone, but I miss the children. Am I crazy?"

His expression was solemn as he studied her face. When he spoke, his voice was quiet.

"How would you feel about another child?"

She had come to terms with her part in the surrogacy, but still wasn't sure it was moral. A part of her still believed it was playing god, though obviously God blessed the twins. God might not be so forgiving if they did it again. She shook her head.

"No Alex, once was enough."

He smiled. "No, I mean adopt one."

She eyed him warily. If he had been scouting around, he had given no indication. She had always said she wanted five children. Maybe he felt the need to provide the fifth. She sighed.

"I know I said I wanted five children, but that was two adopted children and a set of twins ago. I had no idea how much energy five children would require."

He nodded, reaching for another bale of hay. "I suppose that's true enough."

"Did you want another child?" She said, assisting him with the bale.

Together they tossed the bale to the top of the pile and he climbed up to position it. He didn't answer until he had it placed. As he climbed back down, he wiped perspiration from his forehead with the back of his hand.

"I thought maybe a boy about Jonathan's age would be nice."

She gazed up at him, trying to read his expression. It was impossible. She shook her head.

"Don't you think Jonathan has enough competition for attention as it is? Besides, I don't know if I could handle two teen-aged boys. Think how difficult it would be for the boy to adjust with all this going on."

He frowned. "All of what? Every family has issues to work out. Jonathan is a good boy."

She turned away and nodded as she pulled her gloves off.

"He's a good boy, but now he's going through a difficult stage. Another child might be a bad influence. There's no telling what another child might have gone through at this point. He could have been abused, or …"

"Maybe he would be an orphan. Why do you always look for the worst?"

Carmen swung around and stared at him. "I didn't think I was being negative, but there's a lot to think about, Alex."