To Thine Own Self - Page 89/155

His tone became controlled. "Is that what this is all about - pay me back by hiring someone you know doesn't qualify?"

No, actually what this was all about was control. And yet, if she truly wanted him in control, why wasn't she doing what he recommended? A little voice deep inside cried that if he couldn't be in control, he would leave her. Of course, that wasn't so … was it? She always wanted a man who would wear the pants - until now. Why was it suddenly so important to do this her way?

She sighed and shook her head.

"I don't know, Alex. It was so nice having someone to talk to - someone who understood how I felt. I wasn't thinking about protection. I don't know what I was thinking about."

For a moment his gaze ran over her face like it used to, and then his expression softened.

"I'm sorry I haven't been there for you lately. I've been so wrapped up in …"

He paused, obviously realizing who he was confiding in, and then continued. "I'm sorry. I swore I wouldn't tell anyone right now. I wish I could, but …"

He looked like he wanted to cry. He wouldn't do that, though, so she did it for him. What was it about the uncontrolled emotions lately? And why would he promise someone he wouldn't talk to her? What was the secret this time? She wiped tears from her eyes and stepped into his waiting arms.

"I miss you."

The words slipped out unbidden. It was true, though. Alex hadn't been around since the accident - only this person who looked tantalizingly like him.

He didn't respond verbally but his hands caressed her back - as though that would solve anything. Yet for some reason she felt better. She surrendered to a long uneven sigh.

"If it's so important to you, I'll interview more people. I suppose I should …"

"No. I pawned this job off on you. The least I can do is support your decision. As you pointed out, you carry a gun. At least there would be another person with you in case something happened - and she seems the capable type otherwise. If you feel comfortable with her …" He paused briefly and then continued. "I suppose it would be safer than sending you out in the woods with a strange man."

She pushed away from him, lifting her chin to look him in the eye. But the words she intended died on her lips when she saw the twinkle in his eyes. She gave him a wry smile.