R-Wing. Portrait of a frightened little man. A man who grew up watching too much Twilight Zone. A man who believes every story ends with an ironic, moralistic twist, with Rod Serling coming out, cigarette burning furiously, summing up what went wrong.
Told the doctor I wanted to jump in front of a bus, but he didn't want to admit me.
"You don't think I have a serious illness?"
"On the contrary, Mr. Jostleplume, I think you're one of the sickest patients I've ever seen."
"Thank you."
He plays mind games.
They admit me.
Sign in at the nurses station. "Name?"
"The biggest pain in the ass in this hospital."
She chuckles.
"If they try to put a chip in your hand, don't do it. It's the mark of the beast."
A guy with long blond hair, who happens to be pacing by, nods in recognition.
"Who knows? It could be in the Pig vaccine, a nano-chip. They've been working on it for years. A micro dot of chemical on a postage stamp--"
"Mr. Jostleplume." The nurse holds a mini clear plastic cup with a half-green-half-yellow capsule. Swallow it.
"--and when you lick it, you go on a twenty-four hour killing spree, and the next day you don't even remember." Drink some water. "Makes you think about licking a stamp doesn't it? Any hoo." The dinner cart happens to be next to me, and I secretly steal a metal fork, and hide it in my pants.
"And what about high frequency light pulses? The military has been using them for years. It was first used to sell beer. That gives you an idea of how well it works."
"Thank you." She throws the cup out and sprays her hands with sanitizer.
Go to the exit. Try to pick lock with fork.
Walk the hall. The hospital is a near death experience, maybe a full death experience.
Beverly Hillbillies is on. When I watch TV, it doesn't matter who I'm am. I could be a millionaire in a mansion.
A thin guy watches with me. We're both in green gowns and brown booties. His hair hangs straight, trimmed straight across the shoulder. We're both born February 5, but he's two years younger.
He laughs. "Granny's wearing Army boots."
Smile.
"When you're hiking, you've got to have good shoes. I was in the Snowchester Mountaineering Society."
Nod.
"When they sunk the Lusitania, Fox, they say it was the coal bunkers that exploded."