Foxavier and Plinka - A Sample - Page 31/32

Leonard giggles, "You go do your chores." He giggles more, "Julian and I are friends."

Hand out trays, call people's names. "Boris Garrett."

"Thank you." Boris is in his seventies, "Anyone who smokes is a suicide case."

"Theresa Hand," I announce, pronounce, and enunciate, at correct volume.

"Thank . . . you." She stretches out what she says. Her voice is clear and loud, maybe because she's visually impaired. Her white cane leans against the wall, at its end is a ball. I can see dirt on it, where it touches the floor.

Would I want to be her? Would she want to be me? We can only be ourselves. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, the worst hell a man can know. Thank God it's not worse.

The principle of OCD is to suffer as much as possible without going to the point of suicide, which would end the suffering. OCD means you think too much. Spend all your time planning and none doing. OCD means forty years old and no girlfriend. OCD means always having to say you're sorry. It must be a test of God. Your own mind tortures itself. I'm not the only one with problems. Stop being selfish.

Work in the kitchen. Stay productive and close to food. First thing every morning fill the stainless steel double sinks. The counters and refrigerators are stainless steel too.

We cook five trays of roast chicken. I wash the five large trays, scrape with spatula, and eat whole bowl of drippings. Awesome.

Don Ding is at one of the round six person tables. He's a hippy social activist. He wears a red headband. His hair goes down to the middle of his back. He says, "Remember to vote everybody. Keep those cards and letters coming."

Back home, receive call--won contest. My drawing will be on the sidewalk. MoneyWalk is awesome, the nation's first Outdoor Museum of Economics and Politics. If I die today, at least I accomplished one good thing. A drop of water to the thirsty. Public art is cool.

Inspired to write a letter:

Dear Capsulsgrave Confections,

I am a regular customer of your 74-ounce Southern Bucket ® chicken, normally buying three or four boxes a week.

I am appalled and outraged to discover it contains hydrogenated oil!!!

Please remove hydrogenated oil from all your products immediately, so I can resume buying them as soon as possible. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Foxavier Jostleplume.

Walk to corner mail box. The letter in my hand could change the world. Creak door twice to make sure it went down.