I still wanted Geoff, along with all the rest. I felt my attraction to him every time he was near, and he would still fit well into the rest of my life that was still laid out in its tidy map, if only the cancer would go away. He might not be the one to end up filling the full boyfriend-husband-father sequence. But he could. And that's what I wanted.
But now, when I tried to fix my mind on the bright image of that future, shadows of Mr. Thorne kept intruding on the edges. He was a man who could never fit in my life plan, not in any capacity. Even so, I still wanted him, too, in a way that I'd never wanted anything else.
Perhaps more than I'd wanted anything else, even now, when he was miles away.
And that terrified me.
The microwave clock read two o'clock. I had four hours-only four hours until the appointment that would determine whether that "see you" was a prediction or an empty promise.
Four hours before I saw Mr. Thorne again.
Well, then, I thought, I'd better get my sleep.