“I love you so much it scares me,” I whispered. “Come here, beautiful girl.” I pulled her up my body to lie on my chest, her br**sts pressing against me, her cheek just below my shoulder. I trailed fingers through her hair and just held her. How in the hell was I going to survive ten months without her? I really couldn’t bear to think about it at that point.
This was one fact I did understand. Denial worked pretty well for me at times.
“I’ve loved you for so long a time it makes me afraid this is all a dream,” she said. “I’m so afraid of losing all of this with you, Neil.”
“No. You’re not losing me. I’m here right now, and when I’m gone away I’ll still be with you every day inside here,” I said, placing a hand over her heart, “until we’re together again, and I can have my hands on you.”
She snuggled closer and held me a little tighter.
“Do you believe me?” I asked carefully.
I felt her nod into my shoulder but she stayed quiet.
“What’s wrong? Just afraid?”
“Yeah.”
Something was on her mind I could tell.
“Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you, Cherry, because I need to know.”
She traced her fingertip over one of my ni**les, making a shiver roll through me, and sending my c**k on the fast track to recovery.
“It’s nothing…I’m just selfish with you. I want you all to myself and I never want to share you with anybody.” She looked up at me. “I want it all. You need to know that I won’t share you, Neil. I can’t do it and I won’t.” Her voice was harder than usual and the meaning behind the tone worried me a little.
“What do you mean? Share me with…other girls?” I shook my head. “There’s nobody but you. Elaina? What is all this about?”
She shook her head again.
I gripped her a little tighter. “Tell me, darlin’, what has you worried about me?”
She swallowed and looked down. “Well, you’re—you are always so careful with us when we have sex. Always so careful about the condoms…and you don’t need to be that way. I’ve told you I’m on the pill and it bothers me that you—that you don’t want to be all the way close with me…like you’re afraid to make the commitment, or—or s-something with me.”
Silence.
I learned a valuable lesson in that moment. Never, ever, ever, assume you know what a woman is thinking in her head. That way leads to utter confusion and disaster. Elaina had read me all sorts of ways of wrong.
“Oh, Cherry, you want to know why I am so careful about wrapping up every time?”
“Yes.” She nodded with a sad look in her beautiful blue eyes.
“It’s not because I’m thinking of who next I might bang, because there’s nobody. I’m only thinking of you.” I kissed the top of her head. “Of how much I love you.” Another kiss. “Of how precious you are, and how determined I am to make our life perfect together.” I lifted her face up. “There’s nobody else I’m committed to, Cherry. Only you. I’m not going to f**k it up by getting you pregnant before I go off to war. That would hurt you. No unplanned babies for us. I won’t do that to you, and I won’t do it to an innocent child. I was one of those babies and I absolutely won’t do it to one of mine. What if something happened to me over there and I couldn’t come home to you? If you were left alone to raise a child without me. You’re too young for all that and it’s irresponsible of me to risk that. I will never risk you, Elaina. I love you too much.”
Her face cupped in my hands, she nodded up at me. “But I would want anything that came from you, from us loving each other. No baby of yours could ever be unwanted by me, Neil. Surely you know that.”
God, she was amazing. “I do now.” I smiled at her. “And some day we will make a few together, and they will be so beautiful with you for a mum.”
“With you for a dad,” she said with a gorgeous smile.
“Feeling better now that we’ve planned out our future together?” I asked.
“Yes.” She shifted in the water and brought her lips down to kiss my chest right over my heart.
The gesture did something to me. Elaina was my switch. Or more so, she was the person who operated my switch. She controlled me, and I was perfectly happy with that arrangement.
As her lips trailed over my chest and even lower for parts desperate to feel her touch again, I was lost. Lost and desperate to find my way back inside her. Driven to claim her body more times than I needed to, but she felt so good, I couldn’t stop myself from doing it.
So, that’s what I did for the rest of the morning…focused on my girl and making her come so many times, she just had to forget about the worries and fears that bothered her. She had me to carry that burden for her. I’d make sure my Cherry Girl never had to worry about anything. I’d always be there for her, loving her and taking care of her.
I fully intended to. My motives were sound, but my naiveté completely shrouded the twisting paths of fate and how it can rear up and take everything away from you in an instant. One should never underestimate what fate has in store for you. It has a way of gaining the upper hand and can hold onto that power for a long, long time.
I was that naive.
****
“Hold still, this is a great shot of you.” Taking pictures of Elaina was becoming my new favorite pastime. She was a magnificent subject anyway. The particular shot of her, under a flowering tree loaded with pale pink blossoms, was so perfect for her. We thought it was some kind of ornamental cherry tree from how the flowers looked. My Cherry Girl under a cherry tree. Cliché yes, but spectacular all the same and I fully intended to have some prints made that I could frame.
“The blossoms are everywhere. It’s almost like snow.” She spun around with her arms out.
I took photo after photo while she indulged me, so grateful I’d have this beautiful memory of us there together on the last day before we had to head back home.
“So what do you want to do on our last day, beautiful girl?”
She made a face at me and circled around the tree trunk. “Oh, I haven’t told you my news yet.”
I lowered my camera. “What news?”
She peeked around the tree at me. “The news about how I’m not going back to London at all. I’ll be staying here under this cherry tree, and taking boat rides on Lake Leticia every day, and watching the dragonflies flitting over the water.”