I'm struggling not to melt into the puddle I usually am when he finds us. The memory of this weekend gives me some strength, the reminder of what happiness feels like, of how much I want to feel that forever.
Whatever happens, the mess with The Monster ends tonight. I don't care if it costs my life in the process so long as Todd is safe. I know Petr will take care of him if something happens to me. It's all I can think of as I stand staring at the door to my apartment.
The door is ajar, a welcome mat daring me to enter lain out with The Monster's twisted sense of humor. I'm trembling already and trying not to fall apart, for Todd's sake. Hands and face numb from the weather, I'm short of breath from the mad sprint here. My legs are heavy, my lungs burning from sucking in quick breaths of below freezing air, and my hair wet from the snow.
I push the door open. "Jake?" I hate the fear in my voice. "Todd?"
The Monster is seated at the kitchen table on the other side of the kitchen flanking the entrance. One leg is crossed over the other, and he's relaxed. His eyes are as dark and cold as the snowy night.
Every time I see him, I want to puke. He usually has a plan when he finds me, and this time is no different. Beside his feet are two red, five-gallon jugs of gas.
Oh, god.
"Close the door, Claudia," he says.
I do but I don't lock it, just in case I have the chance to leave. "Where's my brother?" I ask and venture halfway through the kitchen.
"Safe for now."
"Where?"
"Does it matter, Claudia? He's not here. You can check."
The Monster is a pathological liar. I can't trust anything he says. My eyes go to Todd's closed door. I know this trick well. If I leave my position near the door, I can no longer run. Jake has me trapped, which is what he wants.
But the apartment is too quiet. If Todd is here, he must be hurt or tied up to be so quiet. If he's not, then I need to know where he is.
Swallowing hard, I leave the kitchen and cross to Todd's room first to push open the door. "Todd?"
The apartment door locks, and I stifle the urge to start crying. The Monster has me where he wants me. I make a show of searching Todd's room thoroughly, including the closet, when I spot the skull and crossbones on his Secrets Box.