I, too, am not certain how much longer I can remain here without finally accepting Petr's offer of dinner. Every part of me wants to say yes, and it's fear that holds me back.
I wait to fan myself until I'm in the staff area of the kitchen and then lean back against the employees' lockers. The back door is open to relieve some of the heat that builds up in the kitchen. The frosty December weather cools my skin without relieving the fever in my blood.
Petr blows my mind so easily. I'm not sure what would happen if we spent more than five minutes together, but I think we'd fall so deeply into each other, neither of us would ever recover.
The prospect terrifies me, because I want it so badly. I want to fall, as he says, but can't afford to let go.
I take a break, call Todd to check in and then return to work. Instead of cheering me up, the plethora of ornaments, lights and bright holiday decorations further sink my mood.