I laughed in spite of myself. "Thank you. I'll take that as a compliment. I'm sorry you had to care for your mother but if you're trying to shock me, you're not succeeding. Why did you come in the room? You must have known I was in the shower."
"I don't know. I just did."
"I'll answer my own question. You peeked in because you're naturally curious and no one has given you any real avenue of learning. What you did isn't being bad. Invading someone's privacy is mischievous, but it's no big deal. If you'd asked to come in, I'd have let you. But everyone does deserve some privacy, don't you think? You wouldn't like it if I peeked in on you and you were naked or playing with yourself or something, would you?"
"I don't do those things!" She nearly yelled. I just shrugged. Karen's eyes widened, not knowing what to make of this candid woman. "Are you going to tell Daddy I spied on you?"
"Don't you remember our conversation before I married your father? I told you I'd never lie to you. I meant it. Nor would I tattle to your father about personal matters like this. Why should I? Parents don't have to discuss everything with each other."
"You're not my parent!"
"Yes, I am. I may not have attained that status by way of natural birth but I was appointed to the job, by your father, and I take it very seriously. Remember? You voted on our marriage. Parenting responsibilities come with the job."
"You're not my mother!"
"No, I'm not. But that doesn't mean I'm not a parent."
"You're just someone who lives in my house. In fact, I'm not sure I even like you! And I don't play with myself. That's disgusting." She awaited my reaction but I offered none. "You're going to blab to Dad I'm a brat."
"Why are you so concerned about what I might tell your father?"
"You know why. He thinks I'm an angel. He probably wouldn't believe you anyway."
"You said 'shit' in front of him. That wasn't very angel-like."
"That just slipped out."
I began to dress, stepping into the bathroom to pull on my underwear, but not closing the door behind me. "See? When you're being deceitful, it gets tough not slipping up. It's much easier being truthful. You know what?" I called, "you're trying to make your father believe you're someone you're not."
"So?"
"Do you think he'd love you less if he had the opportunity to meet the true Karen North?"
"Of course. If he knew everything, I did he'd have a heart attack! I'm a real jerk sometimes. I do all kinds of stuff."