"Stealing. Or hurting someone; really important matters. Putting ourselves seriously in harm's way. We were clear on what was grievous enough to earn a spanking. I stole candy once. I beaned a neighborhood kid with a rock; not on purpose. I was aiming at a can. Another time I whacked a boy with a book and broke his tooth."
"What did the child do to deserve your ire?"
"It didn't matter. My reaction was wrong. That was why I was punished. We were taught not to revert to violence; when we did so, we had to answer for it. Life was simple if you think about it."
"Were you ever wrongly punished?"
"No. My parents were very careful and fair. We did the entire range of things kids do; lax about our chores, messed up room, breaking something, dirtying clothes, and we'd have to answer for those. They were all infractions and we were punished appropriately. But the serious stuff was different. I'm talking about conscious acts of wrong doing like taking something that didn't belong to you, or hurting someone, or directly disobeying an important rule. That's when the hairbrush came out."
I paused, trying to make my point. "I remember a time when my sister and I messed up the kitchen, making cookies. We knew we shouldn't have been there but we thought we could clean up before my mother came home. She caught us but there was no punishment. She said she hadn't realized we wanted to learn to cook, so she set about teaching us. Another time, Suzie and I found a pack of cigarettes and we decided to try them. My mother caught us. We were outside so there was no danger."
"But you were both reprimanded anyway?"
No. She was smart enough to realize we were more curious than being bad. She said she'd never tried them either and lighted one! She made us keep smoking until the pack was nearly gone; to make sure we didn't like them she said. We coughed and gagged and neither of us has ever smoked since. My parents were both fair and wise, but exacting when we went astray."
"Did they ever differ in their judgment?"
"Never. I never knew any two people who loved each other more than my parents. It was if they were one, not just two separate people."
"When did it end? How old were you?"
"The last time it happened? I'm not sure; maybe twelve or so."
"Karen's age."
"Yes."
"That was the last incident that called for severe punishment?"
"No. There were two other occasions," I said. "I suppose you want to hear." He nodded for me to continue.