I stared at him gape-mouth, not really believing him but knowing in my heart he meant every word. I looked away from him long enough to glance at the bottom of my empty glass.
"Pour me another, Mr. Miller, and I'll tell you all about the guy I'm crying over. His name's Andre."
He smiled and poured us both another round. For the next hour, I told him about my relationship with Andre and how I'd love him with all my heart and how I thought I'd finally found the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with only to have my heart broken. When I finished my words were slurred but my heart didn't hurt anymore.
I looked up at Dusty and said, "This isn't going to make any sense, but in my darkest hours I've always had one thought. I always thought much I wanted to go home.
"Not home as in a place. It's not any place on a map or anything. It's here-" I pointed to my heart. "When I was with Andre, I thought I'd found home. I know I didn't really, but I wanted him to be home for me.
"I guess that's why it hurts so badly now. I have to admit to myself that he wasn't where I was supposed to me. Where I belong." I stared at Dusty, hoping he'd understand but sure he couldn't. "Do you know what I mean about the whole abstract concept of home, Mr. Miller? Does it make any sense at all? Am I the only person in the world that feels that way?"
He shook his head. "No, darlin'. You ain't."
I stared down the empty glass then at the bottle we'd managed to finish off too. "Can I ask you something, Mr. Miller?"
He nodded as the band took a break and Riding for a Fall began to play on the jukebox.
"Do you like Chris LeDoux?"
He smiled as he stood and took my hand in his. Without a word, he led me to the dance floor and held me in his arms with a tenderness that made me feel like I was made of glass. Slowly, we moved along the dance floor with a dozen other couples. In our drunken state, neither of us had any rhythm, but at that moment in his arms seemed like the only place in the world I was meant to be.
"This feels good," I whispered as I laid my head against his chest.
He pulled me closer. "Yep."
"Nice."
"Yep."
"Safe."
"Yep." He stared at me with those blue eyes glazed but intense. "Like home."