Nice attempt at a compliment. He was willing to admit that I wasn't a complete mongrel. But Jason's honesty was starting to wear thin, and my good mood was shot. I couldn't resist poking back at him. "Screw you for wishing I was fugly."
He shrugged, apparently unperturbed by this kind of abuse. "It only means you'll have to fight off Chuck even harder. Other than that, I don't care. You won the contest, so go enjoy yourself."
Fine, I could adapt. As the woman who won the title of homeliest fan, I was still the winner. And I'd play it for the incredible victory that it appeared to be. So what if River wouldn't hunger for me? So what if nobody would want to party with me? I'd still be on the bus and behind the scenes during shows, watching the Fiery Boys up close. And who knows? Perhaps someone in the band would be nice to me.
I nodded at Jason. "I guess it's good to hear the truth, every once in a while. But I still love the Fiery Boys, and I can't wait to meet them."
Jason smirked. "You like to hear the truth? Then let me give you a little background about the boys. Stuff we don't usually release to the press. It'll help deflate your overblown love of those four clowns."
Jason held up one finger. "First, let's talk about Chuck. I know all you fan girls love the boy, but trust me, he's an insecure and egotistical rocker. If you sleep with him, you'll end up like a thousand other groupies." He grunted a warning. "Don't. Fuck. Chuck." I could tell he said that a lot.
Jason raised two fingers. "Gabe. Horny lead guitarist. Don't get any ideas with him, either. He's a zombie."
Like Chuck, Gabe was a lady-killer, always seen with different women. But he was also the peaceful one who closed his eyes when he played. This gave him the unusual reputation of being horny and Zen. "I thought he was the meditative one. How did he get to be a zombie? Drugs?"
Jason twisted his mouth and nodded. "Fucking pothead. The guy is totally checked out. I used to rely on him to take care of things, but he's much less invested this time around. You're going to have to reevaluate your ten-year-old crushes on him and Chuck."
"I didn't have a crush on Chuck or Gabe. It was the other two I always liked."
Jason stared at me. "Really? You preferred Buck?"
"Well, River was actually my favorite. Buck was a close second."
"Hmm. Maybe they picked the right girl, after all. Still, River isn't happy to be back on tour. I made him shave his head again and now he just sits and stews. You'll be lucky if you get one sentence out of him. And as for Buck, these days he's just plain angry. Something about his divorce. I'm sorry to tell you that the two Fiery Boys you liked the most are the two most unpleasant members of the band. I hope you're good at making friends."