Jane Eyre - Page 229/412

"My bride! What bride? I have no bride!"

"But you will have."

"Yes;--I will!--I will!" He set his teeth.

"Then I must go:- you have said it yourself."

"No: you must stay! I swear it--and the oath shall be kept."

"I tell you I must go!" I retorted, roused to something like

passion. "Do you think I can stay to become nothing to you? Do you

think I am an automaton?--a machine without feelings? and can bear

to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips, and my drop of

living water dashed from my cup? Do you think, because I am poor,

obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think

wrong!--I have as much soul as you,--and full as much heart! And if

God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have

made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave

you. I am not talking to you now through the medium of custom,

conventionalities, nor even of mortal flesh;--it is my spirit that

addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the grave,

and we stood at God's feet, equal,--as we are!"

"As we are!" repeated Mr. Rochester--"so," he added, enclosing me in

his arms. Gathering me to his breast, pressing his lips on my lips:

"so, Jane!"

"Yes, so, sir," I rejoined: "and yet not so; for you are a married

man--or as good as a married man, and wed to one inferior to you--to

one with whom you have no sympathy--whom I do not believe you truly

love; for I have seen and heard you sneer at her. I would scorn

such a union: therefore I am better than you--let me go!"

"Where, Jane? To Ireland?"

"Yes--to Ireland. I have spoken my mind, and can go anywhere now."

"Jane, be still; don't struggle so, like a wild frantic bird that is

rending its own plumage in its desperation."

"I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with

an independent will, which I now exert to leave you."

Another effort set me at liberty, and I stood erect before him.

"And your will shall decide your destiny," he said: "I offer you my

hand, my heart, and a share of all my possessions."

"You play a farce, which I merely laugh at."