Jane Eyre - Page 320/412

Looking up as I drew near--"You have a question to ask of me?" he

said.

"Yes; I wish to know whether you have heard of any service I can

offer myself to undertake?"

"I found or devised something for you three weeks ago; but as you

seemed both useful and happy here--as my sisters had evidently

become attached to you, and your society gave them unusual pleasure-

-I deemed it inexpedient to break in on your mutual comfort till

their approaching departure from Marsh End should render yours

necessary."

"And they will go in three days now?" I said.

"Yes; and when they go, I shall return to the parsonage at Morton:

Hannah will accompany me; and this old house will be shut up."

I waited a few moments, expecting he would go on with the subject

first broached: but he seemed to have entered another train of

reflection: his look denoted abstraction from me and my business.

I was obliged to recall him to a theme which was of necessity one of

close and anxious interest to me.

"What is the employment you had in view, Mr. Rivers? I hope this

delay will not have increased the difficulty of securing it."

"Oh, no; since it is in employment which depends only on me to give,

and you to accept."

He again paused: there seemed a reluctance to continue. I grew

impatient: a restless movement or two, and an eager and exacting

glance fastened on his face, conveyed the feeling to him as

effectually as words could have done, and with less trouble.

"You need be in no hurry to hear," he said: "let me frankly tell

you, I have nothing eligible or profitable to suggest. Before I

explain, recall, if you please, my notice, clearly given, that if I

helped you, it must be as the blind man would help the lame. I am

poor; for I find that, when I have paid my father's debts, all the

patrimony remaining to me will be this crumbling grange, the row of

scathed firs behind, and the patch of moorish soil, with the yew-

trees and holly-bushes in front. I am obscure: Rivers is an old

name; but of the three sole descendants of the race, two earn the

dependant's crust among strangers, and the third considers himself

an alien from his native country--not only for life, but in death.

Yes, and deems, and is bound to deem, himself honoured by the lot,

and aspires but after the day when the cross of separation from

fleshly ties shall be laid on his shoulders, and when the Head of

that church-militant of whose humblest members he is one, shall give

the word, 'Rise, follow Me!'"