Jane Eyre - Page 359/412

"The match must have been got up hastily," said Diana: "they cannot

have known each other long."

"But two months: they met in October at the county ball at S-. But

where there are no obstacles to a union, as in the present case,

where the connection is in every point desirable, delays are

unnecessary: they will be married as soon as S- Place, which Sir

Frederic gives up to them, can he refitted for their reception."

The first time I found St. John alone after this communication, I

felt tempted to inquire if the event distressed him: but he seemed

so little to need sympathy, that, so far from venturing to offer him

more, I experienced some shame at the recollection of what I had

already hazarded. Besides, I was out of practice in talking to him:

his reserve was again frozen over, and my frankness was congealed

beneath it. He had not kept his promise of treating me like his

sisters; he continually made little chilling differences between us,

which did not at all tend to the development of cordiality: in

short, now that I was acknowledged his kinswoman, and lived under

the same roof with him, I felt the distance between us to be far

greater than when he had known me only as the village

schoolmistress. When I remembered how far I had once been admitted

to his confidence, I could hardly comprehend his present frigidity.

Such being the case, I felt not a little surprised when he raised

his head suddenly from the desk over which he was stooping, and said

"You see, Jane, the battle is fought and the victory won."

Startled at being thus addressed, I did not immediately reply:

after a moment's hesitation I answered "But are you sure you are not in the position of those conquerors

whose triumphs have cost them too dear? Would not such another ruin

you?"

"I think not; and if I were, it does not much signify; I shall never

be called upon to contend for such another. The event of the

conflict is decisive: my way is now clear; I thank God for it!" So

saying, he returned to his papers and his silence.

As our mutual happiness (i.e., Diana's, Mary's, and mine) settled

into a quieter character, and we resumed our usual habits and

regular studies, St. John stayed more at home: he sat with us in

the same room, sometimes for hours together. While Mary drew, Diana

pursued a course of encyclopaedic reading she had (to my awe and

amazement) undertaken, and I fagged away at German, he pondered a

mystic lore of his own: that of some Eastern tongue, the

acquisition of which he thought necessary to his plans.