Jane Eyre - Page 46/412

On the evening of the day on which I had seen Miss Scatcherd flog

her pupil, Burns, I wandered as usual among the forms and tables and

laughing groups without a companion, yet not feeling lonely: when I

passed the windows, I now and then lifted a blind, and looked out;

it snowed fast, a drift was already forming against the lower panes;

putting my ear close to the window, I could distinguish from the

gleeful tumult within, the disconsolate moan of the wind outside.

Probably, if I had lately left a good home and kind parents, this

would have been the hour when I should most keenly have regretted

the separation; that wind would then have saddened my heart; this

obscure chaos would have disturbed my peace! as it was, I derived

from both a strange excitement, and reckless and feverish, I wished

the wind to howl more wildly, the gloom to deepen to darkness, and

the confusion to rise to clamour.

Jumping over forms, and creeping under tables, I made my way to one

of the fire-places; there, kneeling by the high wire fender, I found

Burns, absorbed, silent, abstracted from all round her by the

companionship of a book, which she read by the dim glare of the

embers.

"Is it still 'Rasselas'?" I asked, coming behind her.

"Yes," she said, "and I have just finished it."

And in five minutes more she shut it up. I was glad of this.

"Now," thought I, "I can perhaps get her to talk." I sat down by

her on the floor.

"What is your name besides Burns?"

"Helen."

"Do you come a long way from here?"

"I come from a place farther north, quite on the borders of

Scotland."

"Will you ever go back?"

"I hope so; but nobody can be sure of the future."

"You must wish to leave Lowood?"

"No! why should I? I was sent to Lowood to get an education; and it

would be of no use going away until I have attained that object."

"But that teacher, Miss Scatcherd, is so cruel to you?"

"Cruel? Not at all! She is severe: she dislikes my faults."

"And if I were in your place I should dislike her; I should resist

her. If she struck me with that rod, I should get it from her hand;

I should break it under her nose."

"Probably you would do nothing of the sort: but if you did, Mr.

Brocklehurst would expel you from the school; that would be a great

grief to your relations. It is far better to endure patiently a

smart which nobody feels but yourself, than to commit a hasty action

whose evil consequences will extend to all connected with you; and

besides, the Bible bids us return good for evil."