We didn't even discuss it but he took me straight to Gram's house instead of mine, and she was waiting for us, a large corner suite upstairs prepared for me. I pulled Dante into bed with me and went instantly back to sleep.
"I fucking hate that guy, the male detective," Dante said abruptly at dinner.
I was surprised. "He's the only one that seems like he's trying to help me."
"I don't like him. I don't trust him. There's something wrong with him."
I was so used to him being jealous that that was the first conclusion my mind jumped to. Detective Harris was a very good-looking man, even distracted and shaken I had noticed, and then he'd had the nerve to keep Dante from me for hours after the attack. Of course Dante didn't like him. I didn't much like him either.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
"We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing."
~Charles Bukowski
The worst thing about the attack was how it made me question everything around me. Made me see it all differently. The forest surrounding our houses had been the home to many of the good memories in my life, a source of nothing so much as joy and enchantment, but all of a sudden, it was the opposite.
It was a dark, mysterious place now, the shadows more oppressive and menacing.
Within a few days, I was still more shaken than I'd admit to anyone, but more or less back into my daily routine, and I thought I was happy to put it all behind me. The police would do their job, and I would go on with my life just as before.
Well, not quite. I didn't leave Gram's, and we didn't walk to or from school anymore. Dante started driving us, and I was more than fine with it.
I knew I'd be in trouble as a few days passed, and I still didn't leave Gram's house.
It just felt so good to stay in a place where I was wanted, so I put off going back home.
Finally, I made Dante take me back to the trailer after school. If he'd had his way, we'd have just avoided the place, entirely and forever.
"Go back to practice," I told him. "You can come get me when you're done."
He wasn't pleased about that. "Fuck practice. I'm not leaving you."
He was immovable on the subject, and I was secretly relieved.
"Oh look who decided to come home after three fucking days," was my greeting from Glenda as I walked into the trailer for the first time since the attack. "No word from you, not even a phone call, and you come waltzing in like you still live here."
"Didn't Gram tell yo—?"
"She's not your gram, and you should have told me. Something like that happens, and you don't even call?"
I hadn't even considered it. When I needed someone or some comfort or support, I never thought of her.
"You want to stay up on that fancy hill, you go right ahead, you little brat! I never wanted you here anyway! Collect your shit and get out!" she said and left with a slam.
Oh that's right, I thought. It was Friday. I was interrupting her weekly binge-drunk, and I assumed she was heading to a bar to remedy that.
Dante pressed his chest against my back, leaning down to kiss my temple. "Are you okay?"
I mulled it over. "She told me to leave. I get to leave."
He threaded our fingers together and nuzzled his face into my hair. "Jesus. It's about fucking time. Just think, we get to wake up together every morning. Let's pack your stuff and get the hell out of here."
I was kind of amazed at how much stuff I actually had. We filled up his entire car and we still weren't even done, but I was tired, so we quit. I could get the rest later.
I couldn't quite believe I got to leave the hated trailer dump to stay permanently with Gram. I was reeling, almost giddy about it. It felt like Dante and I had been waiting our whole lives to live together, and finally it was happening. We could be together, day and night. Just the idea of it overshadowed everything else that had happened, for a time, and I was almost lighthearted.
But it wasn't meant to last.
*****
I borrowed Dante's car the next day while he was at football practice, telling him I was tired and going to Gram's to lie down.
"I can skip out. I'll take you home." He looked like he wanted to. Football had fallen very low on his priorities since the attack.
Everything had a silver lining of some kind.
I waved him off. "No, don't bother. Unless you mind me borrowing your car?"
"Of course not. Be careful. And I can just walk home."
I was worried about him doing that, not because I thought he'd get attacked like I had, obviously. I was worried because I thought he wanted to. He'd been relentless and had finally gotten it out of me who the attacker was.
It was a homeless guy that we saw most days on our walk home. No mistaking him. Dante didn't just know who he was, he knew where to find him.
I knew he'd go after the guy given half a chance.
"I'll come back to pick you up," I assured him.
I didn't head straight to Gram's. I had a few things yet to get from Glenda's trailer, and I figured the sooner I did it the better. She was liable to burn the stuff if I left it there for long.