A Damsel in Distress - Page 110/173

The gift of hiding private emotion and keeping up appearances

before strangers is not, as many suppose, entirely a product of our

modern civilization. Centuries before we were born or thought of

there was a widely press-agented boy in Sparta who even went so far

as to let a fox gnaw his tender young stomach without permitting

the discomfort inseparable from such a proceeding to interfere with

either his facial expression or his flow of small talk. Historians

have handed it down that, even in the later stages of the meal, the

polite lad continued to be the life and soul of the party. But,

while this feat may be said to have established a record never

subsequently lowered, there is no doubt that almost every day in

modern times men and women are performing similar and scarcely less

impressive miracles of self-restraint. Of all the qualities which

belong exclusively to Man and are not shared by the lower animals,

this surely is the one which marks him off most sharply from the

beasts of the field. Animals care nothing about keeping up

appearances. Observe Bertram the Bull when things are not going just

as he could wish. He stamps. He snorts. He paws the ground. He

throws back his head and bellows. He is upset, and he doesn't care

who knows it. Instances could be readily multiplied. Deposit a

charge of shot in some outlying section of Thomas the Tiger, and

note the effect. Irritate Wilfred the Wasp, or stand behind Maud

the Mule and prod her with a pin. There is not an animal on the

list who has even a rudimentary sense of the social amenities; and

it is this more than anything else which should make us proud that

we are human beings on a loftier plane of development.

In the days which followed Lord Marshmoreton's visit to George at

the cottage, not a few of the occupants of Belpher Castle had their

mettle sternly tested in this respect; and it is a pleasure to be

able to record that not one of them failed to come through the

ordeal with success. The general public, as represented by the

uncles, cousins, and aunts who had descended on the place to help

Lord Belpher celebrate his coming-of-age, had not a notion that

turmoil lurked behind the smooth fronts of at least half a dozen of

those whom they met in the course of the daily round.

Lord Belpher, for example, though he limped rather painfully,

showed nothing of the baffled fury which was reducing his weight at

the rate of ounces a day. His uncle Francis, the Bishop, when he

tackled him in the garden on the subject of Intemperance--for Uncle

Francis, like thousands of others, had taken it for granted, on

reading the report of the encounter with the policeman and Percy's

subsequent arrest, that the affair had been the result of a drunken

outburst--had no inkling of the volcanic emotions that seethed in

his nephew's bosom. He came away from the interview, indeed,

feeling that the boy had listened attentively and with a becoming

regret, and that there was hope for him after all, provided that he

fought the impulse. He little knew that, but for the conventions

(which frown on the practice of murdering bishops), Percy would

gladly have strangled him with his bare hands and jumped upon the

remains.