Sorrow and sympathy! Oh, what Pagan emotions to expect from a Christian
Englishwoman anchored firmly on her faith!
Little did my poor aunt imagine what a gush of devout thankfulness
thrilled through me as she approached the close of her melancholy story.
Here was a career of usefulness opened before me! Here was a beloved
relative and perishing fellow-creature, on the eve of the great change,
utterly unprepared; and led, providentially led, to reveal her situation
to Me! How can I describe the joy with which I now remembered that the
precious clerical friends on whom I could rely, were to be counted, not
by ones or twos, but by tens and twenties. I took my aunt in my arms--my
overflowing tenderness was not to be satisfied, now, with anything less
than an embrace. "Oh!" I said to her, fervently, "the indescribable
interest with which you inspire me! Oh! the good I mean to do you, dear,
before we part!" After another word or two of earnest prefatory warning,
I gave her her choice of three precious friends, all plying the work
of mercy from morning to night in her own neighbourhood; all equally
inexhaustible in exhortation; all affectionately ready to exercise their
gifts at a word from me. Alas! the result was far from encouraging. Poor
Lady Verinder looked puzzled and frightened, and met everything I could
say to her with the purely worldly objection that she was not strong
enough to face strangers. I yielded--for the moment only, of course. My
large experience (as Reader and Visitor, under not less, first and
last, than fourteen beloved clerical friends) informed me that this was
another case for preparation by books. I possessed a little library of
works, all suitable to the present emergency, all calculated to arouse,
convince, prepare, enlighten, and fortify my aunt. "You will read, dear,
won't you?" I said, in my most winning way. "You will read, if I bring
you my own precious books? Turned down at all the right places, aunt.
And marked in pencil where you are to stop and ask yourself, 'Does this
apply to me?'" Even that simple appeal--so absolutely heathenising is
the influence of the world--appeared to startle my aunt. She said, "I
will do what I can, Drusilla, to please you," with a look of surprise,
which was at once instructive and terrible to see. Not a moment was to
be lost. The clock on the mantel-piece informed me that I had just
time to hurry home; to provide myself with a first series of selected
readings (say a dozen only); and to return in time to meet the lawyer,
and witness Lady Verinder's Will. Promising faithfully to be back by
five o'clock, I left the house on my errand of mercy.
When no interests but my own are involved, I am humbly content to get
from place to place by the omnibus. Permit me to give an idea of my
devotion to my aunt's interests by recording that, on this occasion, I
committed the prodigality of taking a cab.