A shiver of delighted relief ran through me as I locked it into place.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
MY VERDICT
We were at the New York apartment for the first time since the shooting, and she was at least healed enough for us to make full use of it.
We'd just barely started traveling again, and it was a fact that we'd both been looking forward to this.
I was fairly brimming with anticipation.
Bianca was acting giddy with it. She was never like this. She could barely hold still. It was adorable. And sexy.
I gripped her hair at the nape, hooked a finger in her collar, and watched her face, seeing where in the room her eyes wandered first.
We were poised in the doorway of our neglected playground.
I tensed when she looked longingly at the piercing table.
She'd mentioned a few times, lately, about wanting her nipple piercings back. Everything had been removed when she'd gone into surgery, after the shooting.
I was torn on the issue; it had been on my mind, as well.
I'd finally come to a decision about it.
"You won't like this," I began, "but I've decided not to pierce you there again."
"What? Why?"
"It's a bad memory for me, when I did those piercings. I lost it. Lost my mind. Lost my temper. Lost control. I went too far with you, in a few different ways. I've apologized several times for that, and you seem to be over it . . . but the entire thing is a hard memory for me, so I've decided that's not a marker I want to put on you."
"Don't I have a say?"
"You can always say no, to anything, but you don't get to force a yes. I've made up my mind. Also, I learned from that loss of control. I won't be putting my hands on you, not for pleasure or pain, when I'm angry with you again. It's a rule I should have made from the beginning. It just wasn't anything I'd run into before. There was always such an emotional disconnect between me and my subs. It left me ill-equipped to deal with my emotions where you were concerned. The subsequent onslaught of feelings was . . . an adjustment."
She looked surprised. "Whatever you're comfortable with."
"This is what I'm comfortable with. The burden is on me, and this is the solution I came up with."
"So no piercings. That's the final verdict?"
I smiled, watching her face as I said, "I didn't say no piercings."
She looked intrigued. "What did you have in mind?"
"Do you trust me?"
She didn't hesitate. "Of course."
Joy bloomed in my chest. I leaned forward, kissing her softly.
I didn't deepen it. I was still very careful with her face.
The bandages were off, the surgeries done, the wounds healed. She had a scar along her cheek, but it wasn't disfiguring, which was a miracle, all things considered. I didn't think it marred her beauty at all, but I was still wary of touching it.
It continued to be a raw wound for me, what had happened to her.
As though reading my thoughts, one of her hands covered mine, pulling it up to her face, she cupped it over the side of her face that had been injured.
I pulled back, bringing my other hand and cupping her face in both hands.
"You can touch it. It doesn't bother me. I won't break."
I traced it with loving fingers. "It doesn't hurt to kiss, either? It's not tender."
"No. It's not. You don't have to hold back so much."
I just kissed her for a long time, letting it deepen, until passion ruled, and we were breathing each other's air, my mouth relearning hers after so much time away.
Eventually, I guided her to the piercing table. I fastened her wrists to the table, but left her legs unrestrained. I pushed them wide. "Keep them open," I ordered, going to prep.
She squirmed as I slid on tight latex gloves.
I went through the careful, meticulous steps of piercing her naval.
When I was finished, I straightened, and waited.
"That was it?" she asked, shifting restlessly on her back.
I gave her a smile that was all teeth. "Not quite." I pinched the hood over her clit, rubbing the soft flesh.
"Any objections?" I asked her, as I prepped the area.
"You're going to pierce my clit?" she asked, sounding a bit panicked at the notion.
I waited a bit to answer, enjoying her tense impatience as I continued to work on her.
"Not your clit. I don't want to risk you losing any sensation there." I pinched the area I was going to pierce. "I'm going to pierce the hood of your clit. It heightens sensation, if done right."
She swallowed hard, chest heaving. "Have you done that before?"
"No, but I've done my homework. I'm confident I can do it. Any objections?"
She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and submitted to the point of going limp. "No objections. Please, Mr. Cavendish."
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
AT PEACE
PRESENT
STEPHAN
In front of our loved ones, on a perfect day in December, at a private resort in Bali, our own little slice of paradise, I took Javier as my husband, joined my life with his.
They were not legal vows, but spiritual ones, which was all that mattered to me.