Clearing her throat, she finally took her hand back but didn’t step back. The anger he’d seen in her eyes moments before the lights went off was gone. The stunned look in her eyes as she stared at him gave a hint of something else. For as much as she was protesting, she did care what he thought of her.
“As a matter fact,” she started, and she was so close he could smell of sweet coffee on her breath. He’d always hated coffee, but at that moment he’d give anything to taste it. “I don’t even know why I’m wasting my time. Think whatever you want of me.”
She walked around him, and he let her by this time as he stood frozen in place. He had another moment of weakness where he considered taking it back—apologizing for prejudging her. But he’d already slipped once by showing even the remote interest in what she had to say. He had to get a grip. He’d only been around this girl a handful of times, and already his will to show complete indifference had been weakened more than once. Even seeing her cry last night had done something to him. Thankfully, he’d handled that as he should.
Today he’d nearly blown it.
~~~
Most days Brandon had glimpses of Ms. Brady either heading out to lunch or in the break room buying a soda or just like last night when he’d run into her as he was leaving. Today either Ms. Brady had gone out of her way to avoid Brandon or it’d been just coincidental that he hadn’t seen her at all after their morning’s insightful exchange. If it was the former, he should be glad.
In case her plan and admittedly his as well to avoid each other faltered and he did run into her again, he had every intention of going back to the way it was before that morning’s incident. He wouldn’t be exchanging so much as a smile with her. It just wasn’t safe. Every time she’d smiled at him—the morning Sergeant Carter showed him to his office and last night when she’d smiled at him despite the tears still her eyes—he’d felt more than the only thing he should be feeling, annoyance. It was all he should feel just as he had at the airport. But since he’d arrived here, the annoyance of what that sweet smile did to him was being subdued by something else, something that felt dangerously wrong. And this morning, he’d confirmed it.
This was too close to what might lead to him to the temptation of breaking his number-one rule—no attachments. None. He’d done so well for so long he wasn’t about to blow it now. Even the sexual encounters he’d had in the last several years he made absolutely sure were completely meaningless. He’d even figured out a way to keep the act itself especially cold while making the women he was with think it was all part of the performance. He never even slept with the same woman twice much less engage in the usual protocol of dating such as calling her again or even asking her out for another round. It was too risky.
His best bet was to hope he’d pissed her off enough she now hated him. That would eliminate any more of those sweet pouty-lipped smiles, smiles he wanted so much to hate. Today was proof he was losing that battle. The bad thing was Brandon wasn’t even sure now what was worse, the smiles or her obvious contempt for him. For some reason, that seemed to amuse him almost as much as the smiles were beginning to soften him.
The thought of losing battles reminded him of something else and made him groan inwardly. He hadn’t even been here a week yet, and already his anti-social ass had to go hangout with some of his fellow workers that night after work. He’d been warned before he even transferred that a few of the other sergeants had mentioned taking him out when he got here, kind of a welcome-to-the-team type of deal. That meant tonight he’d put on his social mask.
He was glad that for once the overly inquisitive and talkative personality of his office roommate Sergeant Evans had come in handy. He’d asked Brandon if he had any big plans for the weekend as soon as he walked in that morning, forcing Brandon to mention the trip he was making up to Los Angeles tomorrow. Later when Rodriguez arrived, letting Brandon know they’d be taking him out for drinks, his I-can’t-be-out-late excuse that would get him out early tonight held far more weight.
He wasn’t meeting his former drill instructor until late in the afternoon tomorrow, but they didn’t have to know that. Tonight they’d be under the impression he had to be in L.A tomorrow early, which meant he’d have a few drinks and be done with this welcome-to-the-team party.
“Hey,” Rodriguez said, standing up. “Either of you guys get a load of that sexy little thing working with the engineers?”
Brandon didn’t even turn to look at him. He didn’t have to ask who Rodriguez was talking about, because he already knew. Normally Rodriguez’s banter about women and his admitting he was always horny were amusing. The guy could be funny. But Brandon had begun to worry about one thing. Ever since the day he realized Ms. Brady would be working in such close proximity to him, nothing about what he was feeling for her was normal. Hearing Rodriguez speak of her now, the way he did, was anything but amusing.
Pretending to be too caught up in what he was reading on his screen to be bothered, Brandon listened anyway as Evans confirmed he had gotten a load of her.
“Yeah, yeah,” Evans said. “The girl with the glasses.”
“You seen her today?” Rodriguez asked.
“Nah,” Evans responded.
“Holy shit!” Rodriguez said a bit too excited. “She must be going out tonight or something because her hair is down and she wasn’t wearing glasses. I thought she was sexy before but damn.” He lowered his voice a little since the door to the office was still half open. “Swear to God I’d risk my job and f**k her in the bathroom if she’d let me. I mean, shit, the girl’s got it going on. I just about popped a boner, watching her walk down the hall.”