His heart ached every day just knowing how much he’d hurt Rose. After that only phone call he had with her, he hadn’t spoken to her again. He’d hardly been home enough to have time to even send her an email. Besides that Sal had made it clear Rose wanted nothing to do with Vince anymore and made Vince promise to let her be. So he had. At that point there was nothing he could say to her that would make her understand anyway.
As much as Vince reasoned that he could live without Rose if he had to, it felt impossible. He had to face the fact now that it was an all too real possibility. Just before Vince left, Sal told him about how miserable Rose had been those first few days after it all went down. Then Sal warned him that Grace was hurting for Rose as well, and that really pissed Sal off. “Grace doesn’t want you messing with her sister anymore. I warned you a long time ago, Vin, not to hurt her. After everything I’ve done for you, I think this is the least you can do for me. Respect my wife’s wishes. You’ve done enough already. Stay away from Rose now.”
Though Vince promised he would, he’d heard the hope in her voice the day he spoke with her. A love like theirs didn’t fade that easily. And if he had to be honest with himself, there was no way in hell he’d be able to stay away from her. He had every intention of begging for forgiveness as soon as he got the chance. For now, all he could do was continue to tell her how sorry he was and that he loved her as madly as he always had.
The first chance he got—two weeks into boot camp—he wrote to her. But he had to be sneaky. He sent it to Lorenzo and asked him to mail it using a girl’s name with a fake La Jolla return address. His brother, who was thankfully staying out of trouble now, was more than happy to oblige. He even offered to draw happy faces and “little, stupid hearts” on the envelope that he said the girls did at school to make it seem more real.
Vince told him to keep it simple but secretly liked the idea of Rose getting a letter with hearts on it from him. He’d kept it simple himself. As stupid as it sounded, he told her he’d only enlisted for four years. Of course he hadn’t had the gall to ask her to wait for him, but he prayed that somehow she’d want to. He was more than willing to wait and couldn’t even think about getting involved with anyone else even if it did mean for the entire four years.
That was almost a year ago. She’d never responded to even one of his letters, and Lorenzo assured him he was sending them to the right address. Then months ago he sent word to Rose, this time mailing directly to her himself explaining it all—assuring her his love for her was just as strong and he’d do anything to make it up to her—still he hadn’t heard a thing from her.
Even then he held out hope that once he was able to go home even if it was just to visit, he could convince her to hear him out. Just a few weeks ago he’d mentioned in a letter to Lorenzo his plans of using a weekend pass he earned to fly back home to see Rose. He’d have to get past Sal and Grace, but it was worth the fight. Then he got a letter from Lorenzo that shattered any shred of hope he had left.
Lorenzo had only been around Rose a handful of times since the night everything went down anyhow. He’d never had much to update Vince on until now. Vince had already read Lorenzo’s letter a couple of times, but he kept going back to that same part that crushed his heart the first time.
I heard something similar the last time I saw her. But it wasn’t clear, so I didn’t want to mention anything until I knew for sure. This time there was no doubt. They had a gathering for Uncle Sal. Of course pops said I had to go. When Rose showed up, Sofie asked her about her boyfriend and how come she hadn’t brought him around yet. She looked right at me before responding because I was staring a hole through her forehead. I actually held my breath for you, Bro, hoping she’d deny it or maybe Sofie was just teasing. But she said he was working, and he’d be there next time for sure. Then Sofie said he’d better because it wasn’t fair that Rose had been seeing him for months now and no one but Sal and Grace had met him yet.
After reading it for the last time and feeling the dull ache that had been ever present since the first time he’d read it over a week ago, he set the letter on fire. No wonder she hadn’t responded to any of his letters. Of all the reasons he’d played out in his head why she hadn’t responded even to the letter that explained it all, he’d never even considered that she’d moved on and was already seeing someone else.
Just like every time he’d read it before, he felt sick to his stomach. He’d been so certain because he felt it every time he’d been with her—every time he’d looked into those beautiful eyes. She’d assured him she’d never be with anyone else. There’d been no doubt in his heart, not for a moment, that there was any way she could be over him yet. He wasn’t even close to being over her, probably never would be. It hurt like hell that she’d not only begun to just see someone else she had a f**king boyfriend, and she’d apparently been with him for months.
The letter couldn’t have come at a better time. The reason he’d been thinking of taking time to see her was because he’d been assigned to a new base. He wanted things between them squared away before he started working—wanted to know their future started now. He’d waited long enough, and as doubtful as it seemed, something deep in his heart had told him all along that once he explained, everything would be all right.
Because he’d excelled in tactical firearms training, he’d been given his choice to be based out of San Diego helping conduct the tactical training there. It was a great opportunity. He’d move up in the ranks and eventually head the trainings, or he could volunteer to be deployed to Iraq.