“I have been doing stuff that doesn’t involve school.” Rose crossed her fingers under her thigh.
She’d actually taken to studying at the library more now just so Grace and Sal would think she was out socializing. Grace didn’t seem completely convinced, but with Chava squirming in her arms now, she cut it short and left Rose’s room.
Picking up her phone from her desk, Rose thought of what she’d say to Ben as she hit speed dial.
Always in a good mood, he answered, cheery as usual, “Howdy!”
“Will you be my boyfriend?” She squeezed her eyes shut waiting for his response.
“I knew you’d come around eventually!” She could almost picture the smile on Ben’s face. “So when do we consummate this? I can pick you up in five.”
“Ha, ha,” she said plopping down on her bed. “I just need you for one night—this Saturday.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Okay. I never made you out to be the one-night type of girl, but I guess dreams really do come true. Saturday night it’s on.”
Rose rolled her eyes and picked up the teddy bear that still held so many painful memories. Even back in high school, Ben had been a total player, but now as an adult he was the biggest player she knew: lovable, sweet, and always there for her, but a player nonetheless.
“Stop. You know that’s not what I mean. My family is throwing this ridiculous party to celebrate my getting an AA, and they’re sort of under the impression that you’re my boyfriend.” She bit the corner of her lip crinkling her nose, embarrassed that she had to admit this.
“First of all, you deserve it. Shit, it took me two years to get mine; I’m almost embarrassed now.”
“Embarrassed? Please! You’re gonna be a doctor, Ben–a surgeon no less. I’m sure the classes needed for your AA were hardly comparable to ones needed for my liberal arts degree.”
“Doesn’t matter, you’re the only person I know who’s ever earned it this quickly. I don’t know how you did it, but I’m sure it wasn’t easy. So tell me, why is your family under the impression that I’m the lucky one tapping that hot little thing?”
Grace frowned, keeping to herself the reasons why she got her AA so fast. Ben knew she already had plenty of college credits when she graduated high school. She’d leave it at that.
As uncomfortable as it made her, she got to the part of her family thinking he was tapping her thing. Smoothing the teddy bear’s fur, she crinkled her nose again. “Because I sort of told them that we’re seeing each other.”
Now he laughed. “Why?”
She stood up walking toward her walk-in closet, the furthest point from the bedroom door, and lowered her voice. “Okay look, long story short. My sister has been on me for months about me still being down about Vincent, which isn’t true by the way.” She knew even Ben wouldn’t buy that, but she felt so pathetic she had to throw that in. “Anyway, since they know me and you go to the movies and stuff and you’ve actually come around a few times, I just thought she’d get off my back if I said that we started seeing each other. No big deal, right? But she started telling people about it. The last few parties this family’s had, I’ve had to make up excuses why you couldn’t be there.”
“So why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve gone.”
“I know you would’ve, but I felt dumb. I thought it’d be better if I just made up an excuse for you, but now they’re getting suspicious. Well Grace is anyway. You don’t have to stay the whole night either. Just as long as I get to introduce you to the family, and then you can say you gotta go.”
She heard him laugh. “Are you kidding me? And miss a chance to have my hands and lips all over you all night. I’m staying until they throw me out.”
“No, no, no,” she shook her head adamantly. “Not around this family you won’t. Trust me, unless you really want to get thrown out and I mean on your ass, total respect is of the utmost importance. You can hold my hand or maybe place your arm around my waist. I do want it to look genuine but nothing more. And I can’t stress that enough. Okay?”
“I at least get a kiss goodnight, right? I gotta get something out of this.”
Rose touched her lips, Vincent’s words coming to her as they always did anytime the very idea of her so much as kissing anyone else was brought up. His fingers had traced her lips so many times, I own these forever, and then her unequivocal response. You own me body and soul, Vincent. There’ll never be anyone else for me ever.
The words might as well be tattooed on her brain…and her heart. She’d said them so many times and meant them profoundly. If Ben knew the only lips that had ever touched hers were Vincent’s, she’d be mortified. This was exactly the reason why she wanted to avoid therapy at all cost. It would take any therapist all but a few minutes to evaluate her and announce what she’d been denying to herself and everyone else for so long: she was still hopelessly in love with Vincent. So in love she was beginning to think she’d never get over him—Vincent—the very guy who had ripped her heart to shreds.
“We’ll see,” she whispered.
“Rosie, I’m kidding. But ouch! I didn’t think the thought of me kissing you would make you so sad.”
Feeling horrible for an entirely different reason now, she shook her head again. “No I didn’t mean it like that. I just…,” she sighed. “It’s the same reason I’ve never wanted to do anything with you, Ben. You’re my friend, and I don’t want to ruin things.”