She nodded. Her eyes were so big and bright with anticipation he couldn’t help leaning over and kissing her. Then he opened the doors and let her walk in first. He watched as she stepped in, her expression as wistful as he remembered his sister’s being the first day she saw this room too. Whoever lived in this house before really loved books. Wall-to-wall floor-to-ceiling bookshelves encompassed the room with a huge wood-burning fireplace in the center of the main wall. Felix was glad now that he’d asked the designer who did the whole house to keep this room cozy. Nothing in the room said “party time” like the rest of the house. There was a large antique table for studying or using a laptop on that matched the wood moldings and shelves in the room, but other than that, there were comfy oversized fluffy chaises and reading lamps throughout for lying back and getting lost in a good book.
She turned to him after standing in the middle of the room and spinning slowly around to take it all in, letting her jaw drop. “This is a book lover’s heaven,” she whispered. “Do you read a lot?”
“Not really,” he admitted. “When I do, it’s usually non-fiction, memoirs and such of boxing champs and sports legends or some true crime novels. And when I do it’s never here. It’s usually when I’m on the road.”
He watched as Ella walked along the side of the wall, reading some of the titles of the books on the shelves. Most were brought in by the designer herself. She’d told Felix it was a library and it should look like one, so he told her to have at it. He’d been out of town while the library was being set up, so when he got back it was as it looked now. That’s when his sister had seen it and had the exact same awestruck reaction as Ella.
A few of the books on one shelf were tipped over. She pulled one of them off the shelf, and Felix smiled proudly. “I’ve actually read that one.”
“Is this . . .?” She lifted the cover as her eyes went wide and she closed it quickly. “It’s a first edition Lord of the Flies,” she nearly gasped, “with the original dust cover. This must be worth a fortune.”
Felix frowned. “Well, I didn’t read that copy. But I have read the book.”
Ella placed the book back on the shelf as if it were a delicate piece of china. This was not why he’d brought her in here. To show off all the expensive books his eccentric interior designer had gone overboard with.
“I’m almost afraid to touch any of the rest.”
“What? No,” he said, the frustration mounting. This was going all wrong. “You can read whatever book you want in here. It’s what they’re here for. To be read.”
“But they’re so expensive,” she said, looking back at him. “And I don’t think first editions of classic books are meant to be read. You might ruin them.”
Felix pulled her too him, unable to not have her in his arms anymore. He explained about his designer ordering all these books and how he’d told her not to spare any expense. Obviously she hadn’t. “Again, this was all done when I was younger. I didn’t mean to get a roomful of books that couldn’t be read. The library is not a part of my house I thought I’d ever be showing off or trying to impress anyone with until today. Now I feel like there’s no part of this place that doesn’t scream what a pretentious ass I’ve been all these years.”
She tilted her head, her sweet little brows coming together. “Why? Because you can afford to buy expensive things?”
Felix glanced away, unable to look at her anymore. The more he thought of it, the more uncomfortable this made him. No wonder she’d needed time to decide if she wanted to be involved with someone like him.
“Felix, you’ve worked hard for all your money. You earned it.”
“Earned the right to piss my money away on stupid shit like expensive ass books I’ll never read and stripper poles?”
“It doesn’t matter,” she insisted. “What you do with your money is your business. No one has a right to judge you. Look”—she paused because apparently she’d noticed that what she was saying wasn’t making him feel any better—“I’m gonna be honest with you, okay? But you have to promise me you won’t be upset with me.”
Now she had his full attention and he stared at her. “I won’t.”
Chapter 13
Ella
The way Felix’s eyes burned into hers now almost made Ella regret bringing this up. But she’d picked up on his unease from the moment they’d driven up his driveway. Opening up his home to her like this couldn’t have been easy, and she didn’t want him to regret sharing anything with her. Like what she’d seen in one of the other photos on the mantel. She could be wrong, but his pulling her away from that room as he had in such a hurry could’ve been his way of avoiding that subject.
Ella wanted him to know he could tell her everything. His past was just that. She wasn’t about to hold it against him. Good or bad, just as she’d shared with him she wanted him to be able to talk about his past. No matter how tragic or even pretentious he thought it was.
She wouldn’t push, but she did want him to know she wasn’t judging him by his past mistakes.
Not anymore.
“I prejudged you,” she said, and his furrowed brows made her nervous, so she hurried to get it all out. “Before I’d met you—gotten to know you like I do now—I’d come to my own conclusions about you based on the stories I’d heard and read. It was wrong of me and I apologize.”