Bab - A Sub Deb - Page 22/77

"You do, perfectly well," I stormed. "I can't stand it. I am going

crazy."

"Oh," he said slowly. "I see. I've been dancing too much with the

little girl with the eyes! Honestly, Bab, I was only doing it to disarm

suspicion. MY EVERY THOUGHT IS OF YOU."

"I mean," I said, as firmly as I could, "that this whole thing has got

to stop. I can't stand it."

"Am I to understand," he said solemnly, "that you intend to end

everything?"

I felt perfectly wild and helpless.

"After that Letter!" he went on. "After that sweet Letter! You said, you

know, that you were mad to see me, and that--it is almost too sacred

to repeat, even to YOU--that you would always love me. After that

Confession I refuse to agree that all is over. It can NEVER be over."

"I daresay I am losing my mind," I said. "It all sounds perfectly

natural. But it doesn't mean anything. There CAN'T be any Harold

Valentine; because I made him up. But there is, so there must be. And I

am going crazy."

"Look here," he stormed, suddenly quite raving, and throwing out his

right hand. It would have been terrably dramatic, only he had a glass of

punch in it. "I am not going to be played with. And you are not going to

jilt me without a reason. Do you mean to deny everything? Are you going

to say, for instance, that I never sent you any violets? Or gave you my

Photograph, with an--er--touching inscription on it?" Then, appealingly,

"You can't mean to deny that Photograph, Bab!"

And then that lanky wretch of an Eddie Perkins brought me a toy Baloon,

and I had to dance, with my heart crushed.

Nevertheless, I ate a fair supper. I felt that I needed Strength. It was

quite a grown-up supper, with boullion and creamed chicken and baked ham

and sandwitches, among other things. But of course they had to show it

was a `kid' party, after all. For instead of coffee we had milk.

Milk! When I was going through a tradgedy. For if it is not a tradgedy

to be engaged to a man one never saw before, what is it?

All through the refreshments I could feel that his eyes were on me. And

I hated him. It was all well enough for Jane to say he was handsome. She

wasn't going to have to marry him. I detest dimples in chins. I always

have. And anybody could see that it was his first mustache, and

soft, and that he took it round like a mother pushing a new baby in a

perambulater. It was sickning.