He clicked the phone and hung up surprised at himself. He hadn’t even realized he felt all that until the words just came out. He threw the phone down on the sofa and sat back. Frustration now clouded all the other emotions he’d felt for weeks.
*
Despite the fact that days passed since Valerie saw Alex again, she still felt the effects of being so close to him again. Luke was her only hope now. But every time she saw Alex again that hope slowly lost ground.
In some ways, she was very surprised that the whole relationship thing with Luke was still working out. Luke promised he’d be discreet at the office, and so far he’d kept his promise. That really helped, because she had to admit she had been worried about things changing. They would go out on the weekend but she always claimed to be too tired during the week, her way of keeping things from getting too heavy. The night at the sports bar had been the first weeknight she spent with him. Even that had been on the insistence of Isabel.
She tried not to spend too much time at the office with him and that was easy. Her clients kept her busy outside showing properties and doing open houses. Like today, she showed so many properties she didn’t even bother going back at the end of the day. She called Luke and told him she was done. All she could think of was getting home to take a shower and relax. Luke made a comment about her showering at his place, but she politely passed on the offer.
Valerie reiterated to Luke that she wanted to take things really slowly. After a few more heated evenings with him, she could tell Luke was getting anxious to do more. She just wasn’t ready for it. She wondered if she ever would be. How was it so damn easy for Alex to be with someone else? It hurt that he actually enjoyed being with other women while she was still waiting to feel that special something when Luke kissed her.
Alex hadn’t stopped calling, and seeing his name on her caller ID still made her heart speed up. She didn’t dare answer. She knew it would take so little to fall for his lies again, and she’d be right back where she’d been for years, waiting for the next heartache. Just hearing his voice had such an effect on her.
He stopped leaving her messages until Sunday night. She couldn’t bring herself to listen though she hadn’t erased it. It was still sitting in her voicemail box, unheard, and she thought about it all week.
She threw her briefcase down and kicked off her three inch heels as soon as she walked in the door.
Isabel was in the kitchen making something. Valerie was famished. “Smells yummy.”
Isabel glanced up from her cutting. “The shoes, Missy.”
Valerie walked toward the kitchen. “I’ll get them after I eat. I’m starving.”
Isabel shot her a stern look. Valerie slumped her shoulders and went back for the shoes.
While she was in her room putting her shoes away, she decided to change into shorts and an old t-shirt. Her phone rang. It was Luke.
“Hey.” She held the phone against her shoulder while she pulled on her shorts.
“Valerie, I know you’re tired I won’t keep you. I was just wondering if instead of going out to dinner tomorrow night, you wouldn’t rather come over to my place. I’ll make you dinner.”
Valerie didn’t answer immediately and he added, “I make a kick ass lasagna. I’m at the supermarket now, so, I thought I’d call before I pick up all the stuff.”
Valerie winced. Talk about no pressure. “Yeah, that sounds good.”
“You sure? We don’t have to. I just thought since I’ve bragged so much about my cooking, I should make something for you already.
Valerie smiled. “No, it really sounds good. Do you need me to bring anything?”
“No, just your appetite.”
After hanging up with him, she walked back into the kitchen where Isabel was still cutting up stuff at the counter. Isabel looked up at her.
“I hope you’re hungry. It’s clean-out-the-fridge day.”
“Again?” Valerie walked over to the stove. “What smells so good?”
“Those party weenies we had left over from the bridal shower.”
Valerie took one out of the bar-b-q sauce they were simmering in with a fork and bit it. “Mmm, I thought we’d left all the leftovers at my dad’s house.”
Valerie had thrown Sarah an all-girl bridal shower at her dad’s house a few weeks ago. She’d hoped it would it would be enough and maybe they wouldn’t throw any other showers where she’d inevitably have to see Alex. But Angel’s family was party crazy, and went ahead with their enormous co-ed shower anyway.
“Your step-mom dropped this off today, said your dad is not supposed to be eating this stuff anymore.”
Valerie grabbed a water out of the fridge and sat down on one of the bar stools in front of the counter, facing Isabel.
Isabel had all kinds of goodies out. Once a week, she cleaned out the fridge, throwing out all the bad stuff. She then cooked and cut up anything about to go bad. Between her and Valerie, they got rid of it all.
“I’m surprised you’re not with Romero tonight.”
“He wanted me to come over but… I dunno. I just don’t want to overdo it with him.”
“Isabel, I thought you liked him?”
“I do. That’s what scares me.”
“Why?” Valerie frowned. “It’s a good thing he wants to be around you so much. He’s a good guy.”
“I know. I know.” Isabel continued cutting cucumbers. “I’ve just never been with anyone like him. He’s so different from all the overly polished guys I usually go out with. He’s raw, and he doesn’t care about being politically correct. He says things like he sees them, all bullshit aside. For someone who’s so up front and open, he hasn’t mentioned anything about a relationship yet. What if this is just a fun thing for him? I’m having fun, but I’m afraid to put my heart out there like that until I know for sure he’s serious.”