He and Sarah had been on the phone late in the evening when, once again, Syd called on the other line. Not wanting to be too pissy about it, Angel hung up but told her to text him when she was off the phone. Over forty minutes later, he finally got the text from her saying she was off the phone and to say goodnight.
Angel picked up the phone and dialed. No more dicking around. He was getting this over with tonight. Sydney answered after the first ring.
“Angel, what’s up?”
He knew Sydney must be wondering why he was calling, and it was late, so he got right to it. “I need to talk to you.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he said, sounding concerned. “Everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine . . . I think,” Angel said then paused. “I know you and me talked about this, years ago—that time you came down and we talked at the restaurant and you assured me I had nothing to worry about when it came to you and Sarah. You said your relationship with Sarah has always been a platonic one. And while you love her, it’s different than being in love with her.”
Angel waited for a response in vain. The fact that Sydney was saying nothing made him nervous. He thought maybe by now he would’ve interrupted him and said something to reassure him that what he’d said back then still stood. But he didn’t, so Angel went on.
“I gotta tell you, man—and I’m just being honest here—I never bought that shit for a minute. So when she told me you dropped your girl for her, you gotta know what I was thinking, right?”
“Yep,” Syd finally said, and Angel waited, but Sydney didn’t say more.
“So am I right?”
There was no immediate “no” from Syd, and Angel stood up from where he was sitting. He f**king knew it!
“Look, Angel,” Syd said, exhaling. “I’m gonna be honest with you now. It’s up to you if you wanna tell her this. Personally, I don’t think it’s a good idea, but I’ll leave it in your hands. Okay?”
Syd stopped as if waiting for a response from Angel, so he shook his head, confused. “Okay?”
“Dude, of course I was in love with Sarah. How could I not be?” Angel froze where he stood, completely speechless. “When she left for La Jolla, I had every intention of waiting for her to get back so I could tell her. She was going through so much shit I didn’t want to add more complications to her life especially because she was so adamant that we were just like brother and sister. I even admitted to Carina way back in the beginning that I was in love with Sarah, but once she started seeing you and I heard in her voice the way she spoke of you—what you made her feel and how she went from talking about that being the worst time of her life to it being the best because of you—I knew I’d waited too long. I didn’t stand a chance. So I had a choice to make. Either I told her I was in love with her and couldn’t deal with seeing her with someone else and lose what we’d had for so many years or keep my mouth shut and accept it. Accept that she’d never be mine and keep the best friend I’d ever had.”
“So you’re still in love with her?” Angel almost regretted asking now. His dumb ass never even considered the possibility that Sydney would admit this. “Is that why you broke up with Carina?”
“Nah, man, I love Sarah, yeah, but Sarah’s in love with you—so much so I’d never even hope that something might go wrong between you two, because I know she’d be inconsolably miserable, and I’d never want that for her. My admitting to Carina way back before I got serious with her that I was in love with Sarah was my biggest mistake. She never got past it especially since Sarah and I stayed so close all this time. Look,” he said, suddenly sounding very serious, “I wish nothing but happiness for Sarah, and I’m genuinely hoping you two are together forever, because I know it’s what she wants. But let me be clear about one thing, Angel. I ain’t going nowhere. So it’s up to you if you wanna tell her everything I just told you and open up a can of worms or just believe me when I tell you that you have nothing to worry about. Sarah’s yours, man. Has been since day one and will be forever. I’m under no illusions of thinking that’ll ever change.”
Angel stood there, stumped. Was he pissed? Was he worried? He wasn’t sure how the hell he felt about this. “Huh,” he said because it was the only thing he could think of to say.
Sydney chuckled. “I always knew we’d be having this conversation someday, and I always figured you’d have something to say about it.” He laughed now. “But it sure as hell wasn’t that.”
Angel sat on his bed now, feeling like he needed to make a threat of some kind—warn Sydney if he ever got any ideas he’d come after him because it this were anybody else it’s exactly what he’d be doing—but with Sydney it felt unnecessary.
“From what Sarah’s told me about you, I think you’re probably trying to decide whether you should kill me or not.” Sydney laughed. “I tell you what. Why don’t you sleep on it? Just keep this in mind while you’re trying to decide. Even if you two broke up tomorrow, I wouldn’t dream of trying for something more with her than what I have now, and it’s not because I’d be afraid of ruining our friendship. In hindsight, I f**king wish I’d had the balls to chance it back before she met you, even if it meant risking our friendship. But I wouldn’t now. You know why?”
“Why?” Angel asked, still not sure how he felt about all this.