"I'm sure you two will be very happy."
Sydney turned around one last time before getting in his car. “Yeah, you would think that.”
Sydney drove away revving the engine loudly as he past Angel.
Sarah loves you, Angel. As much as he wanted to believe it, the thought of her undeniable attachment to Sydney, made it impossible. The way she’d dressed for Sydney that night, and the way she'd held his hand in the restaurant. It was clear how she really felt about him, and it stung like hell.
*
It took a moment for Sarah to realize where she was when she woke. It reminded her of when she was little and she and her mom lived in hotels for months at a time. She’d woken many times by herself, her mom already off to work.
Just like when she was little, she turned on the television. She didn’t want to watch anything, she just hated the quiet. She sat for a moment on the edge of the bed and thought about the day ahead. She should’ve done this a long time ago.
After showering and having a cup of coffee from the small pot the hotel provided in her room, she was ready to go. She could’ve taken the transit bus but she decided to walk, Sarah knew well enough to come prepared. She layered up and wore her boots and beanie. She drew in the crisp cool Flagstaff air and smiled, remembering when she and Sydney used to walk everywhere. The walk was only about a mile, and it helped lesson her anxiety.
Sarah arrived at the Coconino Women’s Detention center just after nine. She called ahead so she knew not to bring anything except her I.D and money. After going through the security check, and walking through the long, sterile hallways, she signed in and was escorted to a big room that resembled her school cafeteria. There were other visitors there sitting at tables across from inmates in blue jumpsuits.
It was all very somber. The only thing on the tables were boxes of tissues.
Footstep’s and doors closing and opening echoed loudly, rattling her already overwrought nerves. Each time the door where the inmates were escorted in and out, opened, she held her breath. It opened again and out walked her mom. She looked small and frail. Her usually done up hair was in a ponytail and her eyes were drawn with dark circles under them.
Sarah gasped but forced herself to smile. She wasn’t here to make her mother feel worse. She was here because she missed her and desperately needed her.
Her mother’s expression broke when she got close enough and she hugged her tightly. “Oh, honey, I’ve missed you so much.”
Sarah never wanted to let go. She hadn’t realized just how much she missed her. Her emotions betrayed her but she didn’t care anymore. She cried openingly. “I miss you, mommy.”
Her mother held her for a little more then pulled away to examine Sarah’s face. She wiped Sarah’s tears with her fingers. “Come, sit down.”
They sat down across from each other at one of the tables. Sarah had been worried her mother would be upset that she’d come to see her. She’d always said she didn’t want Sarah to see her like that. Now Sarah understood why. But she didn’t seem mad at all.
Her mother reached across the table for Sarah’s hands. “Nobody told me you were coming.”
“Nobody knows.”
Her mother’s eyes narrowed. “Who brought you? Angel?”
Sarah shook her head glancing down at her their locked hands. “I came alone, on the bus.” Her mother’s face grew more concerned. “Aunt Norma knows I’m in Flagstaff. I just didn’t tell her I was coming to see you. I didn’t want her to try to talk me out of it.”
Sarah couldn’t get over her mother’s appearance. Many times when she was little and they were forced to move for reasons unknown to Sarah, her mother had often looked sad and worn, but never like this. She’d lost so much weight too.
“Are you going back today?”
That was the question Sarah had most dreaded. She knew her mother wasn’t going to be happy about her moving back to Arizona.
“No, mom,” Her mother’s weary eyes searched Sarah’s face for answers. “I’m staying with Sydney’s family for the holidays.”
Her mother’s expression didn’t change. “What about Angel? I thought you two were so inseparable?”
The knot in Sarah’s throat nearly choked her. All she could manage was to shake her head and look away before the tears escaped her eyes again. Her mom squeezed her hands.
“Tell me about it.”
Sarah took one hand back to wipe the tears. She was angry at herself. This wasn’t supposed to be about her. The last thing she wanted was to burden her mom any further. But her mother pushed.
“Talk to me, baby.”
After composing herself she breathed in deeply. Sarah reached out for her mother’s hand again. Her mom took it and squeezed it, smiling. “He found out about Sydney.”
She knew her mom would be confused and her expression was just that. “I never told him that Sydney was…”
Sarah felt foolish. She’d told her mom as much as she could about Angel. But their conversations on the phone were so short she always felt guilty about using up all their time talking about herself so she’d left a lot of the details out.
“Was what, honey?”
Sarah glanced around the room and back at her mom. “Ever known anyone that doesn’t believe a guy and a girl can be friends?”
In an instant the look of confused concern on her mother’s face was replaced with that of understanding and she nodded.