But Piers would be damned if he’d do that now.
“Oliveview,” she blurted out.
He blinked at her. “What?”
What the devil was Oliveview? A village? A person? An estate? Someplace she wanted to go on holiday?
“Goodness,” she said, after a few silent moments. “I knew you were opposed to the notion, but I expected a bit more reaction than this.”
“Charlotte, you’re going to have to explain this to me. I am utterly lost. Where—or what—is Oliveview?”
She looked to the ceiling and sighed. “Not ‘Oliveview,’ you silly man. I said I love you.”
Chapter Twenty
Charlotte grew more and more anxious as she waited on his reaction.
For long, unbearable moments, he only stared at her.
Perhaps she needed to say it again.
She slid to the edge of her chair, leaning forward until her knees touched his. “Piers,” she whispered. “I said that I, Charlotte . . . with this beating organ in my chest commonly called a heart . . . love you. Most dearly. Does that make more sense?”
“No.” He shook his head numbly. “Not really.”
Lord, this was going even worse than she’d imagined it could. She knew he wasn’t well acquainted with the emotion—not when it came to romantic attachments, anyway. But surely he grasped the general concept.
Then again, perhaps he did understand.
His expression was something different than confused. He looked resistant. Defiant. Forbidding.
“You can’t say that, Charlotte.”
“Why not? Do you think it’s too soon?”
“A hundred years from now would be too soon. There are too many things you don’t know. Things you will never know.”
“You don’t think . . .” She paused, gathering the courage to ask the question. “Surely you don’t believe the poisoning was your fault.”
“Of course it was my fault. I should have been more cautious. It couldn’t have happened if I hadn’t—”
“No, no. Not me. Not only me, at any rate. I’m speaking of your mother, too.”
His eyes narrowed in defense. “What does my mother have to do with this discussion?”
“Everything, I think. How could it not influence your reaction? You found me slumped in the corridor. It must have provoked painful memories for you. Was it laudanum that took her, or something else?”
“Who told you this?”
She looked at him. “You did.”
“No.” He released her hands and slid back. “I told you she perished after a long illness. I never said anything about how.”
“Not in words, but it only makes sense. It’s common knowledge that women with variable moods are dosed with such things to subdue them. You’re not ruffled by anything, and yet you went into a cold sweat when I was slow to wake from a nap. When I was poisoned, you raised all the walls again.”
“Walls. What walls?”
“The walls around your heart, Piers. You lost so much as a child. As a man, you committed yourself to a dangerous, sometimes brutal profession. I can only imagine how that would change a person. Harden him to emotion. Make him reluctant to let anyone close.”
“You’re being absurd.” He rose to his feet, pacing away. “There are fleas that jump from dog to dog with greater difficulty than your mind leaps from one conclusion to the next.”
“Oh, no. Don’t think you can shut me out now.” She chased after him, sliding around him to block his path. “I know how long it took you to let anyone this close. For pity’s sake, it’s been more than a year since Ellingworth died, and you haven’t even gotten a new dog.”
He looked away and exhaled a slow, angry breath. “I know what you want. I told you from the first, I’m not the man to give you those things.”
“Then we’re equal. Because Lord knows, there are ladies better suited to loving you. But I seem to be the woman who does.” She touched his chest. “You told me yourself, it’s too late. I’m on your mind, under your skin, in your blood. I will not be kept out of your heart.”
“You need to understand this. My life has no room for uncertainty, no margin for error. I have to keep a clear head, or people get hurt. You’ll get hurt.” His hand encircled her bandaged wrist. “Damn it, you already have.”
“What if I told you I know the risks, and I’m willing to take my chances?”
“It wouldn’t change a thing. Those walls, as you call them . . . They’re part of me now, and they are iron strong.” He lifted a hand to her face, skimming his thumb over her lower lip. “Even if I wished to, I wouldn’t know how to dismantle them.”
“I know,” she said quietly. “I know.” She wreathed her arms around his neck. “That’s why you need me. I’m going to burn them to the ground.”
He started to reply.
She didn’t wait to hear it.
Instead, she tugged on his neck, pulling him within kissing distance, and captured his mouth with hers.
He resisted at first, but she offered him no quarter. It wasn’t fair, perhaps, to use desire against him. But it was the one weapon she had. This was a siege meant to conquer his heart. Charlotte would take any advance she could.
She sipped at each of his lips in turn, softening their stern set. And then she slid her tongue into his mouth, probing deep.
Taking the lead was a new experience. She liked it. She liked it very well indeed.
With a helpless sigh, she swept her hands down his back, then ran bold touches over his bare shoulders and chest.
“You’re perfect. So beautiful all over.” She kissed his chest, just to the left of his sternum. “Beautiful inside, as well.”
He growled in warning. “Charlotte . . .”
“Yes?” she asked, making her voice sweet and innocent. She stepped back, looked up at him, and then let her satin dressing gown slither to the floor. “You were saying?”
From the hungry way his gaze swept her nakedness, she knew she’d gained the upper hand. He’d surrender to her now.
She took a step back, then another.
He moved toward her, as though he were pulled by invisible strings that stretched from her nipples to his eyes.
When the backs of her thighs hit the mattress, she reclined on the bed. His gaze still pasted to her bared breasts, he followed, prowling up her body on hands and knees.