Bones in London - Page 87/130

"You must tell her," said Hamilton firmly. "It's only fair to the girl

to know exactly what is hanging over her."

Bones pleaded, and offered a hundred rapid solutions, none of which

were acceptable to the relentless Hamilton.

"I'll tell her myself, if you like," he said. "I could explain that

they're just the sort of things that a silly ass of a man does, and

that they were not intended to be offensive--even that one about her

lips being like two red strips. Strips of what--carpet?"

"Don't analyse it, Ham, lad, don't analyse it!" begged Bones. "Poems

are like pictures, old friend. You want to stand at a distance to see

them."

"Personally I suffer from astigmatism," said Hamilton, and read the

poems again. He stopped once or twice to ask such pointed questions as

how many "y's" were in "skies," and Bones stood on alternate feet,

protesting incoherently.

"They're not bad, old boy?" he asked anxiously at last. "You wouldn't

say they were bad?"

"Bad," said Hamilton in truth, "is not the word I should apply."

Bones cheered up.

"That's what I think, dear ex-officer," he smirked. "Of course, a

fellow is naturally shy about maiden efforts, and all that sort of

thing, but, hang it all, I've seen worse than that last poem, old

thing."

"So have I," admitted Hamilton, mechanically turning back to the first

poem.

"After all"--Bones was rapidly becoming philosophical--"I'm not so sure

that it isn't the best thing that could happen. Let 'em print 'em!

Hey? What do you say? Put that one about young Miss Marguerite being

like a pearl discovered in a dustbin, dear Ham, put it before a

competent judge, and what would he say?"

"Ten years," snarled Hamilton, "and you'd get off lightly!"

Bones smiled with admirable toleration, and there the matter ended for

the moment.

It was a case of blackmail, as Hamilton had pointed out, but, as the

day proceeded, Bones took a more and more lenient view of his enemy's

fault. By the afternoon he was cheerful, even jocose, and, even in

such moments as he found himself alone with the girl, brought the

conversation round to the subject of poetry as one of the fine arts,

and cunningly excited her curiosity.

"There is so much bad poetry in the world," said the girl on one such

occasion, "that I think there should be a lethal chamber for people who

write it."

"Agreed, dear old tick-tack," assented Bones, with an amused smile.

"What is wanted is--well, I know, dear old miss. It may surprise you

to learn that I once took a correspondence course in poetry writing."

"Nothing surprises me about you, Mr. Tibbetts," she laughed.

He went into her office before leaving that night. Hamilton, with a

gloomy shake of his head by way of farewell, had already departed, and

Bones, who had given the matter very considerable thought, decided that

this was a favourable occasion to inform her of the amusing efforts of

his printer correspondent to extract money.