The Branding Iron - Page 108/142

He put a hand up to break her fixed gaze. "What is it, Jane? What do

you see?"

To his astonishment she hid her face in her hands. "It's awful to live

like this," she moaned; and it frightened him to see her move her head

from side to side like an imprisoned beast, shifting before bars.

He looked about the pretty room and repeated, "Like this?"

half-reproachfully.

"I hate it!" She spoke through her teeth. "I hate it! And, oh, the

sounds, the noises, grinding into your ears."

Here the hands came to her ears and framed a white, desperate face in

which the lids had fallen over sick eyes.

Jasper sat listening to the hum and roar and clatter of the street. To

him it was a pleasant sound, and here it was subdued and remote

enough. Her face was like that of some one maddened by noise.

"You don't smell anything fresh"--her chest lifted--"you don't get

air. I can't breathe. Everything presses in." She opened her eyes,

bright and desperate. "What am I doing here, Mr. Morena?"

He had put down his cup quietly, for he was really half-afraid of her.

"Why did you come, Jane?"

"Because I was afraid of some one. I was running away, Mr. Morena.

There's some one that mustn't ever find me now, and to run away from

him--that was the business of my life. And it kept my heart full of

him and the dread of his coming. You see, that was my happiness. I

hoped he was taking after me so's I could run away." She laughed

apologetically. "Does that sound crazy to you?"

"No. I think I understand. And here?"

"He'll never come here. He'll never find me. It's been four years. And

I'm so changed. This"--she gave herself a downward look--"this isn't

the 'gel' he wants.... Probably by now he's given me up. Maybe he's

found another. Everything that's bad and hateful can find me out here.

Bad things can find you out and try to clutch after you anywheres. But

when something wild and clean comes hunting for you, something out of

the big lonely places--why, it would be scared to follow into this

city."

"You're lonely, Jane. I've told you a hundred times that you ought to

make friends for yourself."

"Oh, I don't care for that. I don't want friends, not many friends.

These acting people, they're not real folks. I don't savvy their ways

and they don't savvy mine. They always end by disliking me because I'm

queer and different from them. You have been my friend, and your

wife--that is, she used to be." Suddenly Jane became more her usual

self and spoke with childlike wistfulness. "She doesn't come to see me

any more, Mr. Morena. And I could love her. She's so like a little

girl with those round eyes--" Jane held up two circles made by

forefingers and thumbs to represent Betty's round eyes. "Oh, dear!"

she said; "isn't she awfully winning? Seems as if you must be taking

care of her. She's so small and fine."