She thought! then slowly drew herself away and stood, her head bent,
her brows drawn sharply together. "Yes. I suppose so. I think I can do
it. That is the best plan." She looked at him wildly again. "Then it
will be over for always, won't it? He'll go away?"
"Yes, my poor child. He will go away. He told me so. Then, will you
try to forget him, to live your life for its own beautiful sake? I'd
like to see you happy, Jane."
"Would you?" She smiled like a pitying mother. "Why, I've given up
even dreaming of that. That isn't what keeps me going."
"What is it, then, Jane?"
"Oh, a queer notion." She laughed sadly. "A kind of kid's notion, I
guess, that if you live along, some way, some time, you'll be able to
make up for things you've done, and that perhaps there'll be another
meeting-place--a kind of a round-up--where you'll be fit to forgive
those you love and to be forgiven by them."
Jasper walked about. He was touched and troubled. Some minutes later
he said doubtfully, "Then you'll carry through your purpose of not
letting Pierre know you?"
"Yes. I've made up my mind to that. That's what I've got to do. He
mustn't find me. We can't meet here in this life. That's certain.
There are things that come between, things like bars." She made a
strange gesture as of a prisoner running his fingers across the barred
window of a cell. "Thank you for warning me. Thank you for telling me
what to do." She smiled faintly. "I think he will know me, anyway,"
she said, "but I won't know him. Never! Never!"
That night the theater was late in emptying itself. Jane West had acted
with especial brilliance and she was called out again and again. When
she came to her dressing-room she was flushed and breathless. She did
not change her costume, but drew her fur coat on over the green evening
dress she had worn in the last scene. Then she stood before her mirror,
looking herself over carefully, critically. Now that the paint was
washed off, and the flush of excitement faded, she looked haggard and
white. Her face was very thin, its beautiful bones--long sweep of jaw,
wide brow, straight, short nose--sharply accentuated. The round throat
rising against the fur collar looked unnaturally white and long. She
sat down before her dressing-table and deliberately painted her cheeks
and lips. She even altered the outlines of her mouth, giving it a
pursed and doll-like expression, so that her eyes appeared enormous and
her nose a little pinched. Then she drew a lock of waved hair down
across the middle of her forehead, pressed another at each side close
to the corners of her eyes. This took from the unusual breadth of brow
and gave her a much more ordinary look. A coat of powder, heavily
applied, more nearly produced the effect of a pink-and-white,
glassy-eyed doll-baby for which she was trying. Afterwards she turned
and smiled doubtfully at the astonished dresser.