“I want to talk to my mom tomorrow about the letters. Did you tell Micah?”
He was calling me at midnight on a Saturday to ask about Micah. Didn’t Dewayne have a date? He always had a chick on his arm.
“No. I’m not talking to him until I know what happened to those letters. I need to know your mother wants to be a part of his life. I don’t want him knowing about y’all unless he will be accepted. He’s too little to understand anything else.”
Dewayne let out a sigh. “My momma didn’t get those letters. But even if she did, I want Micah in my life. He’s my little brother’s kid. I want him.”
So he wanted Micah to know who he was. Could I explain that without explaining about the rest of the Falcos?
“I need to know how your mother feels first. Micah is my number one concern. I won’t let him get hurt.”
“Me neither,” Dewayne replied.
Good. At least he wasn’t willing to play with Micah’s emotions.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll probably be right behind my momma while she’s knocking on your door—or possibly barging in. Once she knows, you won’t be able to keep her away from him.”
He had no idea how much I hoped that was true.
“You talk to her. I’ll wait,” was my only response.
Dewayne was quiet for a moment, and I wasn’t sure if he had hung up or not.
“Good night, Sienna,” he finally said, and the way his sexy, warm voice curled around that one word made me shiver. Dammit.
“Good night,” I replied, then hung up. Laying the phone down beside me, I slipped a hand under the covers and into the front of my lace panties. All I needed was the memory of Dewayne’s deep voice while I eased the ache he inspired.
This wasn’t the first time I’d fantasized about Dewayne. For so long I’d felt guilty that it was him and not Dustin I used as inspiration. But I’d finally resigned myself to the fact that I’d never felt any pleasure with Dustin. Dewayne was a fantasy, and that was all this was. Something that wasn’t real.
I slid my fingers inside, closed my eyes, and let Dewayne’s body take shape in my mind. His sexy grin and those arms. Lord, those arms were something else. Wrapping my hands around them as they flexed and he moved inside me . . . My body trembled at the thought. The beautiful thing about using Dewayne to satisfy my need was that the idea of him touching me and being inside me set my body on fire.
It was so easy to forget that he wasn’t there. That he wasn’t touching me. The gleam in his eyes when he looked at me sometimes made me think he thought about this too.
But it could never happen. I’d get hurt. I knew that. Still, the thought of having him on top of me, rocking his h*ps as he moved in and out of my very neglected body, made me ache. Just once I wanted to know how it felt to be loved by Dewayne Falco.
* * *
“Momma? Wake up!” Micah’s voice broke into my dreams, and I opened my eyes, only to immediately close them again. The sunlight was pouring into the room and blinding me. “I know you like to sleep late on Sundays, but there’s someone knocking at the door.”
Micah’s words sank in, and I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes before slowly opening them and looking down at him.
“Sounds like Dewayne and Mama T arguing outside, but you said not to open the door without you, so I didn’t. I came and got you.”
Oh crap! I threw my legs over the bed and reached for the silk wrap Janell had given me for Christmas last year. I needed to get dressed, but the knocking and voices were getting louder. I had to go out there and deal with them. Now. Before Micah heard something he didn’t need to hear.
I tied the belt around my waist and ran my hand through my hair, then bent down to look Micah in the eyes. “You and I have something to talk about later. It’s about a good thing. But first I need to go outside and talk to them, and I need you to stay in your room and play like you were doing before they knocked, okay?”
He nodded, but the frown on his face told me he didn’t like that he wasn’t going with me. I kissed his forehead, then hurried to the door before Tabby Falco broke it down.
Glancing back, I saw Micah go into his room, and I took that moment to open the door and step outside on the porch with a red-eyed Tabby Falco; her husband, Dave; and of course Dewayne.
I didn’t let myself think about the look in Dewayne’s eyes as he took in my appearance. I was a mess, with bed head and no makeup. But I wasn’t out here to impress Dewayne. I wouldn’t think about that.
“I never got a letter. Not one letter, Sienna Roy! If I had gotten a letter, I’d have come after you and my grandbaby. What were your parents thinking? You were a kid! A baby having a baby, and they left you! I just don’t understand it. And that precious boy who looks so much like my Dustin.” She choked up, covered her mouth, and sobbed. Dave pulled her against his chest.
“Please, I know this is a lot. And I know you’re upset, I can see that. And as thankful as I am that you do want to be a part of Micah’s life, I don’t want him hearing this. He needs me to explain it and talk to him first. This would be too traumatic for him.”
“She’s right, Momma. You gotta calm down,” Dewayne added.
I wouldn’t look at him. I couldn’t. I kept my focus on Tabby. She nodded, then dropped her hand from her mouth and looked up at me. She had always been a tiny woman, which was so weird in contrast to her huge sons. Then again, Dave Falco was a massive man.
“Look at you,” she said in a whisper. “You’re all grown up and beautiful.” The sincere smile on her face made me tear up, and I blinked back the tears burning my eyes. I wouldn’t cry. I had Micah to think about. She looked back at Dewayne. “She is much more than average, Dewayne Falco! Are you blind?”
That hurt so much more than it should have.
DEWAYNE
Motherfucking hell. My mother had no damn filter on her mouth. Maybe that was where the kid got it from. The color on Sienna’s cheeks at my mother’s words told me Momma had seriously embarrassed her. Fuck!
Sienna had come out of the house in nothing but that short silk wrap and her hair looking like she’d been properly f**ked, and my imagination went to just that. To what it would be like to have those legs of hers wrapped around me and that gorgeous face of hers in the throes of an orgasm. The idea of anyone else seeing her like this pissed me off. I’d moved to the side so the view of her was blocked from anyone driving down the road or looking out their windows. Did she not realize she looked like a walking fantasy?
Then my mother had gone and told her I’d said she was average. Damn, that sucked. I didn’t want her thinking I was attracted to her, because that would complicate things, but I also didn’t like her thinking I was talking bad about her. I wanted her to like me. I wanted to be around Micah as much as possible.
“She’s absolutely beautiful. You have to beat those men off with a stick, don’t you, honey?” my mother continued with her praise of Sienna. She was right, of course, but what was I supposed to say now? I already looked like a douchebag. I kept my mouth shut.
“I, uh, I . . . Thank you,” she said with an unsure, forced smile.
“How are you still single? You should have a man taking care of you,” my mother said.
The pink on Sienna’s fair cheeks only got brighter. “I don’t date. I have Micah to think of first.”
Shit. She was a good mom. I had known a lot of single moms, and none of them sacrificed a social life because of their kid.
“But you’re young, and Micah needs a man. Don’t worry about that. He’s gonna have his uncle Dewayne and his grandpa Dave there for him. Maybe you can think of spending some time with a man soon. It’s a shame for a beauty like you to live life alone. Dustin wouldn’t have wanted that.”
Sienna swallowed nervously. “It’s okay. I’m happy with it being just me and Micah.”
Momma waved her hand. “Nonsense. You have us now, and we’ll make sure you have a life too. Being a momma is the most important job you can have, but you have to think about you, too. Enough of that for now.” She walked up and pulled Sienna into her arms and held her tightly. “You’re here. And you have Dustin’s boy,” Momma said, choking up again. “I’m so happy. I’m just so happy.”
Sienna’s eyes misted over as she looked up at me briefly, then over at my dad, and she smiled. “I sent letters,” she said, feeling the need to defend herself.
Momma nodded and pulled back. “I believe you did. But I didn’t get them. I think you might want to give that aunt of yours a call. That’s the only explanation I got. But those letters never made it to me.”
Sienna nodded. “Okay. I, uh . . . I need time with Micah. When he’s ready, we’ll come over for a visit. He enjoyed his last visit over there. He’s a fan of cookies,” she said, smiling so sweetly.
My mother had always loved Sienna Roy, and she’d encouraged Dustin’s relationship with her, but right now I realized that the love she’d had for Sienna just multiplied by a thousand because Sienna had brought Dustin’s child into the world. She’d given my momma a part of her son back.
Which was something I’d never been able to do.
Dad finally spoke up, tugging on my mother’s arm. “Let’s go back over to the house and let them talk.” She nodded, but she looked longingly at the door to the house, knowing her grandson was in there.
“Our door is always open, Sienna,” my dad told her.
She sniffed and smiled. “Thank you.” The look on her face told me just how alone she had been all this time. I wanted to strangle her father. It was a shame I wouldn’t get the chance. How the f**k had he done this to her?
My parents walked down the stairs and I waited. I wanted to say something to her, but I wasn’t sure what. Explaining my “average” comment would sound insincere now.
“I’ll bring him over when he’s ready,” she told me, then opened the door and stepped inside before I could say anything else.
“Come on, son. Let them alone,” my father called after me.
Frustrated as hell, I turned and followed my parents home.
When we got to the house, my mother looked back at me and frowned. “I don’t know what you think is attractive, but apparently Dustin was the only one with good taste in females. That girl is a beauty. Even just out of bed she is breathtaking. Nothing fake about her. She’s the real thing. She’ll make a man a good wife one day. Shame you can’t see what a jewel she is.” Then she turned and walked inside.
Dad chuckled and I looked over at him. “What?” I snapped.
He only laughed harder. “Reckon that ‘average’ comment was about the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard. I may be an old man, but I ain’t blind. Hell, boy, she’s a looker. She left average a long time ago. But then, you know that. Be careful what you say, because your momma will make sure the world knows.”
He continued to laugh as he went inside.
I glanced back at her house and remembered the young girl who used to run across the street in bare feet and a pair of cutoff jeans and a shirt tied up above her belly button. All that red hair flying, and her smile big and bright. Dustin would meet her out front, and she’d fling herself into his arms and he would swing her around.
I think it was about the time she had turned sixteen that I decided staying away from her was really f**king important. Because I had watched her run into my brother’s arms, and I’d been jealous. The emotion had startled me and taken me a moment to understand. I’d never been jealous before or after. Because I had known in that moment that I’d somehow lost a part of my soul to a girl who would never be mine.
I spent the next seven years proving just how much I didn’t need love. I just needed pu**y, and I could get it easy. I had f**ked Sienna Roy out of my system with each redhead who wasn’t her. With each girl I bedded, I’d felt further and further away from any emotion.