The Dark Star - Page 81/255

Vaguely she endeavoured to realise that she was now inside one of its

myriad sanctuaries; that here under her very tired and youthful eyes

stood one of its countless altars; that here, also, near by, sat one

of those blessed acolytes who aided in the mysteries of its wondrous

service.

"Ruhannah," he said, "are you calm enough to let me tell you what I

think about this matter?"

"Yes. I am feeling better."

"Good work! There's no occasion for panic. What you need is a cool

head and a clear mind."

She said, without stirring from where she lay resting her cheek on the

chairback: "My mind has become quite clear again."

"That's fine! Well, then, I think the thing for you to do is----" He

took out his watch, examined it, replaced it--"Good Lord!" he said.

"It is three o'clock!"

She watched him but offered no comment. He went to the telephone,

called the New York Central Station, got General Information, inquired

concerning trains, hung up, and came back to the desk where he had

been sitting.

"The first train out leaves at six three," he said. "I think you'd

better go into my bedroom and lie down. I'm not tired; I'll call you

in time, and I'll get a taxi and take you to your train. Does that

suit you, Ruhannah?"

She shook her head slightly.

"Why not?" he asked.

"I've been thinking. I can't go back."

"Can't go back! Why not?"

"I can't."

"You mean you'd feel too deeply humiliated?"

"I wasn't thinking of my own disgrace. I was thinking of mother and

father." There was no trace of emotion in her voice; she stated the

fact calmly.

"I can't go back to Brookhollow. It's ended. I couldn't bear to let

them know what has happened to me."

"What did you think of doing?" he asked uneasily.

"I must think of mother--I must keep my disgrace from touching

them--spare them the sorrow--humiliation----" Her voice became

tremulous, but she turned around and sat up in her chair, meeting his

gaze squarely. "That's as far as I have thought," she said.

Both remained silent for a long while. Then Ruhannah looked up from

her pale preoccupation: "I told you I had three thousand dollars. Why can't I educate myself

in art with that? Why can't I learn how to support myself by art?"

"Where?"