A deep, atavistic rattle began in Barrons’s chest, and I knew Cruce had just signed his death warrant again.
I whirled and locked gazes with him, shucked my pride, doffed my prickly alpha stubbornness and said, You are my world, Jericho Barrons. Not him. Never him.
The rattle died and his dark eyes gleamed. He inclined his head.
I glanced back at Cruce. “Can you use your Fae power to remove some of the dirt from beneath the hole?”
He narrowed his eyes, studying it a long moment. His gaze flickered strangely and, were he human, I’d have called the expression consternation followed by annoyance, perhaps even unease. “No,” he said, sounding faintly surprised. “Something is causing interference. The effect of the sphere extends well beyond the rim, and that…disturbance is neutralizing my endeavors.” He frowned. “This is not something I have encountered before.”
“How do I use the queen’s power?”
“I told you my terms.”
“Tell me how to restore your wings and I’ll do it.” And in the process, maybe I could figure out how to use it without requiring further instruction.
He smirked. “Nice try, MacKayla. But you must sign the Compact in blood before I am willing to teach you anything.”
“What Compact?” everyone demanded simultaneously.
“Cruce said he would teach me how to use my power and help us save the world if I restored his wings.”
Jada said flatly, “No loss there. Do it.” Ryodan and even the still-seething Barrons concurred.
“Then once the world is safe, I have to transfer the True Magic to him,” I finished.
All three of them exploded at once, telling me why there was no way in hell I was ever doing it, and I just looked around at all of them and waited for them to die down, which they eventually did.
“Be reasonable. It’s not out of the question,” I said. “He’s willing to agree to lengthy stipulations in the Compact, including that he will never harm our world, and will take the Fae far away, forever forbidding future contact. I think you’ll find him amenable to virtually anything. All he’s ever wanted is to lead his race.” I frowned. I was standing up for Cruce now. But it was true. It was all he’d ever wanted. Things were so different in my head now, where logic ruled hand in hand with compassion for the race I’d been born to, with no other sentience messing around with my brain. Yes, he’d raped me. I’d survived, and the nearly incoherent anger I’d felt for so long was simply gone. What remained was a chaotic world with complex politics and few with power enough to lead the various factions. My experience with the Sinsar Dubh had forever changed me. I’d encountered true evil. Up close and personal. I knew what it was. Cruce was not evil. As a Fae, he was a fine one. Exemplary even. A Fae that sometimes did very bad things to humans.
Barrons said softly, “Is this what you want, Mac?”
I tipped my face up to the sunshine, savoring the warmth on my wet skin for a few moments before meeting his gaze. “A caste of Seelie came to me this morning with their problems. If I keep the True Magic, I am their ruler. I would be required to hear their petitions, deal with their politics, protect them, guide them.” I added with my eyes, It would be time-consuming. And if I were to truly rule and truly care, it would, in time, take me over. I don’t want that future. When this is over, I want to…I trailed off.
What?
Play in the sun. Love people. Run with your beast. Explore worlds. Live.
Cruce was motionless, watching me intensely. Were he human, he’d be holding his breath. Oh, yes, he hungered to lead his people. And despite the things he’d done to me, I couldn’t say he wouldn’t be a fine leader for them. No doubt, as fine or better than me. “If I can’t figure out how to use this power,” I said aloud, “it won’t matter if we re-create the song. I won’t be able to sing it. Or wield it. Or whatever I’m supposed to do with it.”
“He doesn’t have you over a barrel, Mac,” Ryodan pointed out. “If we die, he does, too. That’s powerful enough motivation for him to cave before it’s too late. He’s Fae. He’ll never willingly embrace death. Not so long as there’s the slightest chance of his survival.”
Ryodan was right. We could hold out. But for what purpose, what gain? “I’m okay with it, provided the Compact is clearly detailed.” And maybe, once I’d figured out how to restore Cruce’s wings, I could heal a human heart for Dani before I gave such a stunning amount of power away.
Barrons inclined his head. “If this is what you want.”
I took a final, brief moment to reflect, to be absolutely certain, no regrets. The power inside me was brilliant, generous, warm. It could do so many amazing things for so many people. With it, I might be able to shape the icy immortals into a kinder bunch of beings.
But I didn’t want to take on that challenge. I knew who and what I’d become. I was a woman that couldn’t do anything halfway. In time, the weight and responsibility of the Faery crown would take over my mind and heart and change me in ways I didn’t want to be changed. I said, “Let’s go get my dad and draw up a Compact.”
“What guarantee do we have that Cruce will honor it?” Jada demanded.
“He claims we’re both irrevocably bound by it, and once I access the True Magic, I’ll have confirmation of that. It’s a win-win. If he’s telling me the truth—great. If he’s lying, that means neither of us are bound and, with full access to the queen’s power, I’ll be far more powerful than he is. In which case,” I turned to Cruce and said with a cool smile, “I will terminate your existence instantly, without a second thought.”