Standing by the window, she wondered as she had done over and over again
for ten years, what would have happened if, instead of marrying Howard,
she had married Judson Clark? Would he have settled down? She had felt
sometimes that in his wildest moments he was only playing a game that
amused him; that the hard-headed part of him inherited from his father
sometimes stood off and watched, with a sort of interested detachment,
the follies of the other. That he played his wild game with his tongue
in his cheek.
She left the window, turned out the lights and got into her bed. She
was depressed and lonely, and she cried a little. After a time she
remembered that she had not put any cream on her face. She crawled out
again and went through the familiar motions in the dark.