Jack shook his head. “Unfortunately it’s not a positive. Fitz believes, due to conversations he overheard while he was in captivity, that the Saxons may be planning to assassinate the heads of all the families, when the time is right. And it sounds like once this treaty is signed may be that time.”
There was a loud pop as Luc uncorked the wine bottle. “Excuse me?” he said.
“What about their plans being ‘best for the Circle’?” I said. “I think that somewhere deep down, Lydia actually believes that.”
Jack spread his hands. “I agree, but I think she could easily fit this plan into that framework. If every family was trying to introduce new leadership, no one would have time or energy to mutiny.”
“She’d probably call it giving the Circle a fresh start,” Stellan muttered.
“I think we’ve got to assume it’s true and try to do something about it, but it doesn’t necessarily change—” Jack turned to me. “There’s plenty of your blood to vaccinate the families.”
“If they’ll take it.” Luc got down wine glasses from the well-stocked bar while Colette poured. “I’ve already tried to tell them we have a vaccine, but they won’t listen. No one knows what—or who—to believe anymore.”
I stood, crossing the room to look outside through the split in the heavy velvet curtains. The streets on the back side of the Louvre were almost empty. This city that had come to mean so much to me was terrified and cowering, avoiding the virus, or the riots because of the virus. Down the block, a group of people in black masks appeared. They smashed the window of a parked car with a pipe and laughed, and I winced. Was that what the world was coming to? Something had to be done. Something had to be done to save the Circle, too.
I heard a knock. I knew even before I’d turned around that it would be Nisha standing in the doorway.
“We have good news,” she said, but she didn’t say it with a “good news” kind of smile. “A mouse has lived. We have many more tests to do, but to have any chance of getting a vaccine out before the treaty meeting, we would have to do the procedure . . . Miss West’s injection, that is . . . tomorrow in the morning.” Her eyes softened. “You don’t have to decide now.”
I felt strangely calm as she left the room. I slipped off my shoes and curled back in the armchair, trying to ignore everyone staring at me.
At first, all I’d wanted was to keep people I loved safe. I understood Lydia in that way. But I’d come to feel responsible for so much more.
I may have been wrong assuming all the Circle families were only out for themselves, but they would need as many people on the good side as they could get. The more I thought about leaving, the more I realized I didn’t want to. And it wasn’t just to avoid going back to a life of hiding. I’d said I didn’t care about power, but maybe I was wrong. If someone like Lydia Saxon could change the course of the Circle, why couldn’t I? Why shouldn’t I? The more I realized what was there for the taking, the more I wanted it, even if I had to fight for it. Maybe I did have a little of the Circle, of the Saxons, in me after all.
“I don’t think we should leave.” I ran a thumb along the chair’s stitching. “We’ve all pledged ourselves to the Circle in various ways, but more than that, I think we have a responsibility. My mom, the Circle families we respect, Fitz, the Order—they all just wanted the Circle to be what it’s supposed to be. I don’t think I can abandon that now. I know it’s dangerous. But my mom ran from this to try to keep me safe, and it just made everything worse. Running has consequences, too.”
I wasn’t my father, letting terrible things happen. But I wasn’t my mom either. I don’t know if I really believed it was fate that brought me back to the Circle, but I felt like I was standing at the edge of the world, holding it in hands that were no longer trembling. I remembered something my mom had said, way back in Lakehaven, Minnesota. I know you’re afraid of falling, but sometimes you’ve got to let go.
“Each of you has to decide for yourself,” I said. “But I’m going to stay.”
I said it to the group, but I was looking at Stellan. He nodded, like it was what he’d been expecting all along.
“And I’m going to do the vaccine experiment. Tomorrow, I guess.” The decision felt right, like I’d come full circle. My existence had caused this. It could be my blood that ended it.
Jack closed his eyes. Stellan watched me stoically.
“If it continues to work on the mice, Nisha said the chances are pretty good it will work on me,” I said. “Pretty good is way better than anything else we have. You’re right that we could save the Circle with what we have now if they’ll take it, but for the rest of the world—even if every single family signs the treaty, Lydia is volatile. We need to either stop the Saxons for good, or we need a scalable vaccine. Since the former looks unlikely . . .”
“She’s right,” Elodie said quietly. “I don’t want to admit it either, but she’s right.”
No one argued this time.
“No matter what ends up happening,” Jack said, looking at his phone, “Paris is shutting down. There are protests going on in the square in front of Notre-Dame that are starting to turn violent, and police are advising that people stay inside. Should we go somewhere that’s not here?”
“A hotel?” I said, thinking of the mob I’d seen forming down the block. “What part of town is least likely to be hit by riots?”
Stellan and Elodie tossed out suggestions, but Luc stood. I just now noticed that he’d been doing things on his phone, too, ignoring his glass of wine. “We stay here,” he said.
We all raised a collective eyebrow. The Louvre, when the town was descending into chaos?
“I’ve been watching what’s going on all day. We’re safe here. No one will question a strong security force around the Louvre during a threat to the city,” he said. “And if you all don’t want to stay, I have to anyway. This is my city now. I have to prepare for the worst.”