Lavender and Old Lace - Page 44/104

"That's nothing," she assured him, "for I save you a quarter every day,

by taking Joe's place as reader to Your Highness, not to mention the

high tariff on the Sunday papers. Besides, the manuscripts are all in

now."

"I'm glad to hear that," he replied, sitting down on the piazza. "Do

you know, Miss Thorne, I think there's a great deal of joyous excitement

attached to the pursuit of literature. You send out a story, fondly

believing that it is destined to make you famous. Time goes on, and

you hear nothing from it. You can see your name 'featured' on the

advertisements of the magazine, and hear the heavy tread of the fevered

mob, on the way to buy up the edition. In the roseate glow of your

fancy, you can see not only your cheque, but the things you're going

to buy with it. Perhaps you tell your friends, cautiously, that you're

writing for such and such a magazine. Before your joy evaporates, the

thing comes back from the Dead Letter Office, because you hadn't put

on enough postage, and they wouldn't take it in. Or, perhaps they've

written 'Return' on the front page in blue pencil, and all over it are

little, dark, four-fingered prints, where the office pup has walked on

it."

"You seem to be speaking from experience."

"You have guessed it, fair lady, with your usual wonderful insight. Now

let's read the paper--do you know, you read much better than Joe does?"

"Really?" Ruth was inclined to be sarcastic, but there was a delicate

colour in her cheeks, which pleased his aesthetic sense.

At first, he had had an insatiable thirst for everything in the paper,

except the advertisements. The market reports were sacrificed inside

of a week, and the obituary notices, weather indications, and foreign

despatches soon followed. Later, the literary features were eliminated,

but the financial and local news died hard. By the end of June, however,

he was satisfied with the headlines.

"No, thank you, I don't want to hear about the murder," he said, in

answer to Ruth's ironical question, "nor yet the Summer styles in

sleeves. All that slop on the Woman's Page, about making home happy, is

not suited to such as I, and I'll pass."

"There's a great deal here that's very interesting," returned Ruth, "and

I doubt if I myself could have crammed more solid knowledge into one

Woman's Page. Here's a full account of a wealthy lady's Summer home, and

a description of a poor woman's garden, and eight recipes, and half a

column on how to keep a husband at home nights, and plans for making a

china closet out of an old bookcase."

"If there's anything that makes me dead tired," remarked Winfield, "it's

that homemade furniture business."

"For once, we agree," answered Ruth. "I've read about it till I'm

completely out of patience. Shirtwaist boxes from soap boxes, dressing

tables from packing boxes, couches from cots, hall lamps from old arc

light globes, and clothes hampers from barrels--all these I endured, but

the last straw was a 'transformed kitchen.'"