Lavender and Old Lace - Page 55/104

Ruth paused for a moment, overcome by her task, but Hepsey's face was

radiant. "Hurry up, Miss Thorne," she said, impatiently.

"In short, Dear Miss, I consider you the most surpassingly lovely of

your kind, and it is with pride swelling in my manly bosom that I dare

to ask so peerless a jewel for her heart and hand.

"My parentage, birth, and breeding are probably known to you, but should

any points remain doubtful, I will be pleased to present references as

to my character and standing in the community.

"I await with impatience, Madam, your favourable answer to my plea. Rest

assured that if you should so honour me as to accept my proposal, I will

endeavour to stand always between you and the hard, cruel world, as

your faithful shield. I will also endeavour constantly to give you a

happiness as great as that which will immediately flood my bing upon

receipt of your blushing acceptance.

"I remain, Dear Miss, your devoted lover and humble servant, "JOSEPH PENDLETON, ESQ."

"My! My!" ejaculated Hepsey. "Ain't that fine writin'!"

"It certainly is," responded Miss Thorne, keeping her face straight with

difficulty.

"Would you mind readin' it again?"

She found the second recital much easier, since she was partially

accustomed to the heavy punctuation marks and shaded flourishes. At

first, she had connected Winfield with the effusion, but second thought

placed the blame where it belonged--at the door of a "Complete Letter

Writer."

"Miss Thorne," said Hepsey, hesitating.

"Yes?"

"Of course, I'd like my answer to be as good writin' as his'n."

"Naturally."

"Where d'you s'pose he got all that lovely grammar?"

"Grammar is a rare gift, Hepsey."

"Yes'm,'t is so. Miss Thorne, do you guess you could write as good as

that?"

"I'd be willing to try," returned Ruth, with due humility.

Hepsey thought painfully for a few moments. "I'd know jest what I'd

better say. Now, last night, I give Joe a hint, as you may say, but I

wouldn't want him to think I'd jest been a-waitin' for him."

"No, of course not."

"Ain't it better to keep him in suspense, as you may say?"

"Far better, Hepsey; he'll think more of you."

"Then I'll jest write that I'm willin' to think it over, and if you'll

put it on a piece of paper fer me, I'll write it out with ink. I've got

two sheets of paper jest like this, with nice blue lines onto it, that

I've been a-savin' fer a letter, and Miss Hathaway, she's got ink."

Ruth sat down to compose an answer which should cast a shadow over the

"Complete Letter Writer." Her pencil flew over the rough copy paper with

lightning speed, while Hepsey stood by in amazement.

"Listen," she said, at length, "how do you like this?"