Lavender and Old Lace - Page 78/104

The next day, while Ruth was busily gathering up her few belongings and

packing her trunk, Winfield appeared with a suggestion regarding the

advisability of outdoor exercise. Uncle James stood at the gate and

watched them as they went down hill. He was a pathetic old figure,

predestined to loneliness under all circumstances.

"That's the way I'll look when we've been married a few years," said

Carl.

"Worse than that," returned Ruth, gravely. "I'm sorry for you, even

now."

"You needn't be proud and haughty just because you've had a wedding at

your house--we're going to have one at ours."

"At ours?"

"At the 'Widder's,' I mean, this very evening."

"That's nice," answered Ruth, refusing to ask the question.

"It's Joe and Hepsey," he continued, "and I thought perhaps you might

stoop low enough to assist me in selecting an appropriate wedding gift

in yonder seething mart. I feel greatly indebted to them."

"Why, of course I will; it's quite sudden, isn't it?" "Far be it from

me to say so. However, it's the most reversed wedding I ever heard of.

A marriage at the home of the groom, to say the least, is unusual.

Moreover, the 'Widder' Pendleton is to take the bridal tour and leave

the happy couple at home. She's going to visit a relative who is distant

in both position and relationship--all unknown to the relative, I fancy.

She starts immediately after the ceremony and it seems to me that it

would be a pious notion to throw rice and old shoes after her."

"Why, Carl! You don't want to maim her, do you?"

"I wouldn't mind. If it hadn't been for my ostrich-like digestion, I

wouldn't have had anything to worry about by this time. However, if you

insist, I will throw the rice and let you heave the shoes. If you have

the precision of aim which distinguishes your sex, the 'Widder' will

escape uninjured."

"Am I to be invited?"

"Certainly--haven't I already invited you?"

"They may not like it."

"That doesn't make any difference. Lots of people go to weddings who

aren't wanted."

"I'll go, then," announced Ruth, "and once again, I give you my gracious

permission to kiss the bride."

"Thank you, dear, but I'm not going to kiss any brides except my own.

I've signed the pledge and sworn off."

They created a sensation in the village when they acquired the set of

china which had been on exhibition over a year. During that time it had

fallen at least a third in price, though its value was unchanged. Ruth

bought a hideous red table-cloth, which she knew would please Hepsey,

greatly to Winfield's disgust.

"Why do you do that?" he demanded. "Don't you know that, in all

probability, I'll have to eat off of it? I much prefer the oilcloth, to

which I am now accustomed."