As the moment of interview approached, her agitation increased so much,
that she almost resolved to excuse herself under what could scarcely
be called a pretence of illness; and, when she considered what could
be said, either concerning herself, or the fate of her aunt, she was
equally hopeless as to the event of her entreaty, and terrified as
to its effect upon the vengeful spirit of Montoni. Yet, to pretend
ignorance of her death, appeared, in some degree, to be sharing its
criminality, and, indeed, this event was the only ground, on which Emily
could rest her petition for leaving Udolpho.
While her thoughts thus wavered, a message was brought, importing, that
Montoni could not see her, till the next day; and her spirits were
then relieved, for a moment, from an almost intolerable weight of
apprehension. Annette said, she fancied the Chevaliers were going out
to the wars again, for the court-yard was filled with horses, and she
heard, that the rest of the party, who went out before, were expected at
the castle. 'And I heard one of the soldiers, too,' added she, 'say
to his comrade, that he would warrant they'd bring home a rare deal of
booty.--So, thinks I, if the Signor can, with a safe conscience, send
his people out a-robbing--why it is no business of mine. I only wish
I was once safe out of this castle; and, if it had not been for poor
Ludovico's sake, I would have let Count Morano's people run away with
us both, for it would have been serving you a good turn, ma'amselle, as
well as myself.' Annette might have continued thus talking for hours for any interruption
she would have received from Emily, who was silent, inattentive,
absorbed in thought, and passed the whole of this day in a kind
of solemn tranquillity, such as is often the result of faculties
overstrained by suffering.
When night returned, Emily recollected the mysterious strains of music,
that she had lately heard, in which she still felt some degree of
interest, and of which she hoped to hear again the soothing sweetness.
The influence of superstition now gained on the weakness of her
long-harassed mind; she looked, with enthusiastic expectation, to the
guardian spirit of her father, and, having dismissed Annette for the
night, determined to watch alone for their return. It was not yet,
however, near the time when she had heard the music on a former night,
and anxious to call off her thoughts from distressing subjects, she sat
down with one of the few books, that she had brought from France; but
her mind, refusing controul, became restless and agitated, and she went
often to the casement to listen for a sound. Once, she thought she heard
a voice, but then, every thing without the casement remaining still, she
concluded, that her fancy had deceived her.